Things I Lost In The Fire
by Ashthief
Summary: Bitterness. It's wild, untamed. Many cats who suffer from it break, their minds can't see past the pain in their heart. I know I'm one of those cats. The cat that snaps at others, the cat that wallows in self-pity. When my family burned, something inside me snapped; something was lost. And I'm not sure I'll ever get it back. I am Synndra, and this is my story.
1. On the Run

**Hey! I still haven't decided if I'm going to end the Elementals (my other book), but if I am I said I'd work on another story, and if I do end up stop writing on it this will be the second book I'm working on! If you haven't read the Elementals, check it out! Kind of tragic and such... but I think it's an okay book. Also, I don't know if I'm just depressed or something, but now both books have REALLY sad things happening or sad back-stories... Idk what's up with me and this depressing writing xD But I promise I'll make this happier... if anybody care about this and if I continue and what not. Read and review, I'd like to know if I should continue this and what not. Thanks! **

Chapter 1: On The Run

How would you feel if you saw the only people that cared about you die right before your eyes? How would you feel if you later realized if you acted quicker they would have maybe even lived? How would you feel if after all of these events you were then homeless, starving, cold, alone? That's how I am, how I feel now. I was a house cat, but on one unfortunate night I was locked in a cage, and I was rendered powerless. The memory returned too fast, all too fast and all too painful.

The only light went off, and suddenly I was left in complete darkness. I knew something was up, but was there anything I could do in the box? I had a clear view of the main room suddenly bursting to flame, but my louding meowing wasn't enough to rouse my family. It spread, grew closer, slightly burned me. I made enough racket for my people to see what was wrong, and there was suddenly a lot of clamor. Some weird noises and shouts, I still fought to get out of my prison but as the fire encircled my family, they quickly forgot I existed. I heard some sirens in the distance, but as I heard some faint sizzling there were screams. I shut my eyes as I relived that terrible memory. The girl, screaming and burying her head in the father's arms. He was trying to calm them down, but fire leapt at their figures. Suddenly my cage was picked up and I tried to get out and be with them even if they die, I'm their companion. Their friend, another family member.

I strained to see what had become of them, but the strangers shoved me in the monster and took off. Later, after I escaped the loud house with many cages and other cats that had sadder stories than the other, I raced back to my home. It took many days, but after some wandering I found the ashes of my beloved home. Home. I found a half-burned pelt covers that they used to put on their paws. I found ashes, a great pile of them. Where they had stood together as they burned.

_Why was I the only one to live? Why me? Why me?_ The guilt of the survivor weighed heavy on my shoulders. I left soon, unable to bear being so close to my family yet so far. With one last glance over my shoulder, I ran. I ran, I ran, I ran. I ran until I collapsed, and that was quick enough since I wasn't used to moving around a whole lot. Hunger gnawed at my stomach, but I ignored it as I closed my eyes and slept a sleep filled with nightmares of me almost saving them, but then the fire burned them alive. Their screams echoed in my mind, the screams haunted my dreams and nightmares alike.

_Why me. Why me. Why me._

^.^.^.^.^.^

When I awoke the sun beamed on my face. It was warm, but I only felt cold on the inside. Cold and dull, like a polished river stone. Thoughtless. I heaved myself to my paws, and I suddenly wondered where am I going to find food? I've never hunted when I needed to, only when I felt like having a challenge. Which was rare, I usually slept, ate the hard pellets, sat with my master and his family, and groomed myself. Sometimes I'd wander outside and say hi to my friends, Jewel, the lithe silver tabby she-cat next door. And Leaf, her sister who lived with Jewel. I knew a few other cats, we're practically family.

The thoughts of my old life saddened me, and I really do mean old life. I'm never going back, they were the only family I had and will ever have. I'll teach myself to hunt, I'll mark my own territory, I'll thrive by myself. The thought sounded lonely, I'll miss everybody… no. I will thrive by myself. I will. I will. I will. My old name, old self, old personality, is gone. I will choose my own name, choose who I will be, choose how I will act when I encounter other cats, if I ever do. I will hunt the hawk, be faster than the fastest fox, be stronger than the largest badger. I am independent, I will not be weak, and I will be strong. I am not Sophie, I will choose my own name. Not a soft, kitty name. A strong name. My own.

**I know this is SUPER short... and the lack of length is killing me, but I just want to see how many people are actually going to read this. I don't want to write a long 6,000 word chapter and then have like 5 views. So tell me if anybody actually wants me to continue this... I may do another I don't know. Thanks for reading!**

**~Ashthief**


	2. Always Has, Always Will

**Heyo! Here's the second chapter... I think it's somewhat longer than the usual ones. Idk, but I apologize for last chapter being SOOO short. I had no idea where I wanted to go with this story... I figured it out overnight while I couldn't sleep :/ Thanks for reading!**

**Oh yeah, one more thing. Thank you so much Grayfur (just shortening your name) for reviewing so soon! I had to wait until like the 5th chapter on my other book until I got a review that wasn't telling me I messed up a chapter or whatever x: But yeah... thank you SO SO SO much for reviewing :) **

Chapter 2: Always Has, Always Will

At least a full year later, and I wasn't the same cat. Not at all. I'm not Sophie, I'm Synndra. A name I created. A name that is mine. Mine and only mine.

I was fully capable of hunting for myself, and fighting by myself. I was a loner, and I am a loner. Once I woke up, I immediately did what I always do. I get up, check around to see if there are any intruders, and then hunt. I quickly killed a shrew, and I brought it back to my 'camp,' I suppose. But I found something out of the ordinary, I scented something, I heard a crack, I felt claws perce my shoulder.

Instantly I used my hind legs to thrust the cat off me, the pelt a muddy brown color. As his eyes flashed, I noticed how odd they were. One was dull yellow, while the other was a pale blue. He also had a white streak on his forehead I realized in the two seconds I had to brace myself for the attack. As he leapt at me I kept close to the ground and neatly darted to the left, but with an amazing amount of speed he managed to pin me down. His glaring yellow and blue eyes locked with my blazing blue ones.

"What are you doing in my home?" I spat in his face as I tried to find a foothold to get away, but my instincts somewhat deserted me.

"We're taking it over." He snarled back as his claws dug into my skin further.

"I don't see any other cat, are these your silly imaginary friends you're plotting with?" _Bide your time, get him so mad his rage forces him to make a move and then there's your chance to escape._ I had figured that out on my own, I had to figure out a lot of things on my own. As in everything.

"We are strong, and we will rule this area!" He attempted to swipe my face with his merciless claws, but as I ducked my head the rest of my body moved too and he was knocked off his paws. I didn't bother to give him any injuries to deal with, an idiot would stay behind to maybe even kill him, but a wise cat would move along and forget the whole incident. So I raced away and darted up a tree, where I surveyed what happens next. He stood up, shook out his fur, and growled.

"You're getting too soft." Another cat, a stocky dark gray, stalked up to my attacker, his fur bristling as his lips drew back in a snarl.

"She caught me off guard, how is that soft?" He countered, though it looked like he regretted it as his hackles fell when he pressed himself to the ground in fear. "I-I didn't-"

"You didn't what, exactly?" The stocky dark gray tom snarled as he pinned the other cat to the ground, his claws slashing him without hesitation.

He gave no answer, he just trembled and didn't make a sound as he heard his own fur being ripped. _Can I never escape cruelty?_

"Now, are you going to let the next she-cat get away?" the gray tom growled as he gave the other a final blow that nearly ripped his foreleg off. I shuddered as blood followed it, and it pooled on the ground as the stocky gray tom left the muddy brown one alone. He disappeared through the undergrowth, and I saw him pad into a cave off in the distance. Way off in the distance, nearly a large spot looking as big as a cat from where I was figures shuffled around inside, and I felt my icy blue eyes widen. _There are more?_ From the looks of it, there were many more. Many, many more.

I heard a ragged cough, and I looked below the tree to see the muddy brown tom hauling himself in the general direction of where the cave lay. _That other cat nearly killed him, and he's crawling back now? I think most of these cats are mental._

I slid down the trunk after a while, and scented for the wounded tom. Faint. I still felt wary, but relaxed at the same time. The bad cats had gone, but they could come back. My attacker, he said… they'd take over this area. Something told me I should leave now or there could be trouble.

So I did. I left as soon as I could, and I tried to leave without a trace. I avoided going to the north where the cave lay, and back down south there was the place where I once lived. A memory in the back of my mind, a memory I tried so hard to keep away. My only weakness was my past, I still can't forget it completely. I may never be able to break completely free. But I'll try until my last breath.

So I decided to go somewhere around northeast, and I tried to slip past the large cave where those dangerous-looking cats resided. All went well, and by nearly sunset I was far away from my old home. But I forgot the cave was far away from my home, and I'm far away from my home.

I heard a rustle, and immediately I stiffened and snarled. Nothing responded, so I settled down closer to the ground. Even though there were no more suspicious noises, I still felt uneasy. I found out why in the morning.

A crackle. I thought it was prey, as blurry as my mind was. So I crept up to it, and sniffed the air warily. But what scent I found was more hostile than a little mouse or shrew could be. I instantly jerked my body to the left, trusting my instincts. Claws scraped the ground where I was a fraction of a heartbeat earlier. I tried to dart away, throwing as much energy as possible into the smallest amount of time. But claws pierced my tail and I came to a sudden stop.

"Told you that she-cat would be wise enough to leave." The dark gray tom from yesterday growled at his claws kept a firm hold on my tail. As I wrenched it free I accidentally tripped over another tom who was standing in front of me, but I was paying attention to the other so I didn't notice him. He had a white coat, one single gray streak running down his back. A vicious scar went from the front of his left shoulder to behind his left foreleg. I flinched as he growled and as the other pinned me down.

"I agreed with you, you're smarter than most of the others." The other pointed out, and to my surprise the gray tom didn't nearly kill him as he killed the other yesterday.

"That you did, my only friend that I can count on to back me up." He dipped his head in acknowledgement while studying my thin frame.

"This is touching and all, but can you save it for when you're not imprisoning a cat?" I hissed as my ears flattened defensively.

"Fiery." He muttered, and the white tom nodded as his yellow eyes gleamed. "Dark will be pleased we found another."

"Indeed." The streaked tom nodded in approval.

"Let's get her back to camp before she escapes, smart one she is." he jerked his head in the direction of which the not-so-faraway cave lay.

"And I can't be informed of what's going on here, now can I? After all, I'm only a _prisoner,_ aren't I?" I rolled my eyes after my sarcastic comment, my piercing blue eyes betraying my boredom and annoyance. Cats seem to get more fired up if you're plain bored, instead of rebellious. They get a rise out of it.

"We'll explain when Dark says we need to." The gray tom told me as if it was obvious, in a superior tone.

I pretended to think real hard, tipping my head to one side and glancing up at the brightening sky. Almost dawn. "Oh this is hard… hmm… lemme think what else I was going to say…. Oh yeah! So you are the little playthings of this Dark, are you not? This almighty whoever he is. You guys aren't as superior as him, now are you? Shame!" Both their ears flicked and almost on cue they growled.

"Prisoners aren't supposed to be talking, they're supposed to be quiet and shameful!" The dark gray tom snarled at me.

"What is there to be ashamed of? Oh yeah, I forgot. I forgot that it's shameful to have a surprise attack launched at you before the sun even rises. Silly me, I forgot I should be ashamed that I almost escaped an unprovoked attack."

"Shut up or we'll feed you to the ravens!" The white tom hissed as his ears flattened in annoyance, his eyes blazing with anger.

"Ravens don't live here though… I believe you are speaking of the crows, of which they do look similar to ravens, but there are some key main differences. Ravens are crows in the way that crows are a species family. Ravens are also very broad, there are fan-tailed raven, a forest raven, a brown-necked raven, there's also-"

"Shut up!" The white tom screeched in rage. I only looked at him innocently.

"I was just-"

"Give it up, Streak. She'll just fire back three times more worse." The gray tom warned in a tired, exhausted voice though their camp wasn't too far away.

"So we let Dark deal with her?" He growled hopefully, his eyes gleaming as a smirk danced on his face.

"I suppose so." He sighed gustily. We arrived at the camp, and I shut my mouth. I know when and when not to talk. "Dark, we found the she-cat Scowl lost." A large black tom with dark brown, almost black, paws strode up to the dark gray tom confidently, his head raised high, his pawsteps thudding on the hard stone floor.

"Good, another to add to our growing ranks. She'll-"

"Ah, no. I'm not joining anything that has to do with you mental cats, I saw what happened to the dark brown cat when he lost me and when the dark gray one found him." The dark gray tom's eyes flickered uneasily, and I think something suspicious is going on here. Very suspicious.

"You said they were from her." His pale green gaze narrowed as he snarled, "you lied!"

"A fool would have stayed behind to give him those kinds of wounds." I rolled my eyes in order to break the tension as Dark glared at the gray tom.

"No, a warrior would." He countered as he continued to glare at the stocky gray tom. "And a coward would give that great of a punishment to someone who merely lost a lucky she-cat who luckily got away, Rock." His fur bristled in outrage as his drew his lips back in the beginnings of a snarl.

"She was twice as fast as him, she's worth it." Rock growled back though his voice lost the fire. "She thought twice as fast, and he's one of the quickest fighters and thinkers in this whole group!"

"I see." He answered calmly, though before he finished his statement he leapt at me without warning. I darted to the right and he ended up landing heavily. Adrenaline made me launch myself at him and with a defiant hiss I clawed his spine. Instantly I was drawn away from him by Streak and Rock, but my eyes continued to glower at the now-wounded tom. Many cats turned their shocked gazes at me, and I refused to look down. With a somewhat arrogant gaze I looked at them all, one by one. Most turned away, but a few of the toms in one group glared back. The hair on the back of my neck stood up.

"You were right, Rock." Dark had now licked his fur to where it hid the injuries, but he inhaled sharply as he padded up to me. I flattened my ears and snarled as he gazed at me. "She is worthy."

"Worthy of being left alone I hope, because I'm not staying here." I informed him with a dip with the head not in respect, but in somewhat arrogance.

"You are staying here and you will become one of our greatest warriors." His gaze traveled through his now-assembled group. "What's your name?"

"I don't have to tell you." I gazed back at him with pure rebellion. Amusement twirled in his pale green eyes, and he dipped his head with a slight smirk.

"Then I will choose your name." _I don't think so, mouse bile._

"My name is Synndra." I announced as my ear twitched. I gave in. _Well I don't want to be named something stupid like Mud or something obvious such as Silver,_ I reasoned with myself in my head.

"Synndra will be trained among the strongest of our Claws." He announced. Many cats sat below him, where I was left to stand alone as he shuffled away from me. Immediately protests were made.

"She wasn't born here!"

"She's a she-cat, she can't be one of the stronger cats!"

"She couldn't beat my kit." I saw one of the toms scoff, his pale blue gaze hostile. I glared back and once he realized I was looking specifically at him he glanced away. I lifted my head and let my fur rise.

"She will train among the strongest!" Dark roared as more cats protested. The large cave went silent, and with reluctant looks most dipped their heads in their acknowledgement of what their leader wanted. "Streak, you will introduce her to who she will be training with." He padded away, not giving the white tom a chance to protest. He sighed and glared at me.

"Don't look at me like that, I would have chosen anybody else." I snapped back as he got to his paws. His whiskers twitched, in annoyance or amusement at my defensiveness, I don't know.

"Come on." He ordered flatly. But before he even started to walk away I walked past him with a cool look on my face. "Dark put _me_ in charge."

"Yeah, but did he say you got to walk in front?" I called over my shoulder as he attempted to catch up. His lithe figure made it easy, but muscles rippled smoothly as he leapt off of the ledge instead of taking the path down.

"Show off. You could have been a normal cat and walked down, but no, you had to nearly break your legs and fall off the cliff." It's not that I like annoying cats, it's just… I don't know how else to push others away. Loneliness is suffocating, but sometimes it hurts less if it's not a specific cat causing the pain.

"I didn't _fall _off the ledge!" he snapped defensively as his fur bristled.

"Lie to yourself if you want, I don't care." With a growl he led me to a large cave. Almost as large as my old home. Pain pricked me, don't think about it. Don't. No, it was larger I decided. The ceiling stretched almost farther than I could see, and the room was amazing. It could easily fit seventy cats, and many spaces were left blank. Many. Just guessing, I saw about fifty cats gather, not including the queens and their kits, if they don't want to move.

"Hey Streak, who's your friend?" A friendly looking she-cat greeted the white tom at my right. I could almost feel him stiffen beside me, his eyes resuming to that cold look. _He likes her. As obvious as the difference between ravens and crows. Which is less obvious to some than others._

"She's not my friend." He snapped as he glared at me. I glared back. She rolled her eyes and bounded up to him as he skirted around the edge of the cave. It thundered with cats talking, cats eating, cats sleeping. She was pretty, I'll admit that. She was a skinny light brown tabby, her forepaws white while her pale blue eyes glowed. She looked almost too delicate to be one of the stronger warriors, or whatever they're called here. So far I've heard them referred to as warriors, so I guess they're warriors.

"Well what else do you want me to call her?" She rolled her eyes as his whiskers twitched in annoyance. "Lighten up."

"Can you just introduce to whoever so I can get this over with?" I impatiently and abruptly questioned. "I don't even know what I'm doing here."

"Yeah yeah in a second…." His voice trailed off and as he opened his mouth to say something the light brown tabby cut him off.

"I don't mind, just hurry it up because I have to go hunting and I don't like hunting by myself." After Streak nodded hastily, she bounded away on light paws.

"She's way out of your league." I laughed on the inside as his face gaped, his jaw hanging low in astonishment and shock. A smirk lit up my face at his embarrassment.

"I didn't-"

"Let's hurry up this introducing stuff I want to get out of this damp cave." He led me through a small opening in the back of the cave, one I would have never noticed if I hadn't been shown it.

"And for your information she is _not_, I'm one of the stronger warriors you're going to train with." He snapped back before we entered the smaller cave, a small tunnel connecting it to the large one. Only about twenty cats were in the cave, and from quickly scanning it there was only one other she-cat. One. _Why do I care? I don't want friends!_ I tried to convince myself, but uncertainty gripped me.

"A bit skinny for being powerful." I commented as we halted by the entrance.

"What's another strange cat doing in this den?" An older tom with more scars than I could count on my two paws growled, his milky-gray eyes swimming with distrust.

"Don't ask me, Dark is the one who said she's worthy." Streak shrugged his shoulders casually. "If it were up to me I would say otherwise."

"You'd better watch where you put your tongue, I bet she could beat you five times faster than you could even have a chance of touching her." The only other she-cat, a blue tabby with striking white stripes, challenged the white tom with a single gray streak boldly. Her ears were shoved forward confidently, her blue gaze unwavering.

"I'd like to see her try, she hasn't had proper training." He scoffed, his gaze filled with disdain.

"I beat Dark before he could even set a paw on me, I don't think you stand a chance." I narrowed my piercing blue eyes after my remark. I unsheathed my claws and allowed them to gleam threateningly.

"You're just a stupid rogue who thinks she knows everything and is unstoppable." His eyes glittered with rage as I pointedly turned my back on him.

"Oh yeah, and what were you before you joined this group?" Another tom, light gray with a white-tipped tail, smirked at Streak as he flattened his ears. _I think I'll fit in here. Who cares if I don't but these seem like cats who stick up for the unappreciated._

"A cat who had enough sense to shut my mouth when I should." He snapped back. _My turn to throw another insult,_ I thought with almost mad glee.

"I guess you've lost your sense since then, because I don't see it now." I casually licked a paw and drew it over my ear as if I had lived here all my life. There's no reason to act differently. "Consider me introduced, I can handle hunting by myself. Or do you need me to babysit you? I think I see a tear welling up in your eye." I left the cats, and strode through the first den confidently. As I nearly reached outside, an idea of escaping entered my mind.

"Where are you going, Synndra?" I nearly despise cats calling me by my name, it's mine and only mine and they don't deserve to have the knowledge of what it is.

"Hunting, getting kind of hungry due to the mouse-dung of a cat Streak and his stressful tour." I nearly made it out, but Dark pinned my tail with a claw.

"New cats can't go out until they have earned their place." I stared at him in shock, so I sit on my tail like a housecat instead? No thanks! I attempted to stride out anyways, but two guards seated at the entrance stopped me. "You're going to run away." he mewed.

"Deal with it, you've got like a hundred other cats." I darted swiftly to the left, and the guard's claws pierced empty air as I raced away. Once I ran out of breath I slowed down to hunt. I didn't hear any approaching pawsteps, so I dropped into a sloppy crouch because at this point I don't care. I quickly, quietly killed a mouse and a squirrel. After eating them both I managed to scoop up a fish, of which I taught myself too. Near the cave ran a shallow stream, easy for catching food. After I caught a few more of the slick creatures, with a full mouth I padded back to camp like nothing happened. Dark looked at me quizzically.

"You didn't run away?" He frowned in confusion. I dropped my fish to explain.

"Who said I was running away? I just said I was going hunting." I almost got away with it, but the black tom called me back.

"Did you catch those yourself?"

"No, it was raining fish and I managed to scavenge a few." I rolled my eyes and continued to pad away from him. With a bemused look, he told me one last thing.

"The prey pile is in between the nursery and warriors' den." I gave no acknowledgement, but I deposited the fish there anyways. As I left I noticed an older cat prodding it suspiciously.

_I didn't poison them, mouse-brain._ I skirted around the edge of the large cave and slipped into the 'special warriors' cave' or whatever they call it.

"Look who's back." Streak was dismayed at the blue she-cat's voice.

"An idiot would run away, only to be hunted down again." I curtly commented as I settled down on the cold floor off to the side. I curled up by myself, at least a few cat-lengths farther away from the others. I closed my eyes and the stone cold seemed to comfort me, oddly. It always has, always will.

**Yay a second chapter, done! ^.^ Even though I just started this book I really like it actually. I feel like Synndra is kind of like Nightfall from my other books... anybody who has read that too agree? Thanks for reading as always, and review please ^.^ More reviews= faster updates... unless my baby sisters decides she wants to try and KILL my computer because I'm paying attention to it and not her... Thanks as always and look out for the next chapter! ^.^**

**~Ashthief**


	3. I Can Take Care of Myself

**Hi! Here's the third chapter... Thanks for the 2 reviews received last chapter :) I just want to say... I love this book so much... Just had to let that out for no apparent reason. Three chapters in and I dub this my favorite book written by myself so far. But of course, this is only my second book sooooo yeah. **

**~Review replies~**

**Grayfur of WindClan- Thanks for your second review ^.^ I love Synndra's attitude so much too... I went back and reread it because I was like wait she was funny o. O I thought she was just flat out annoying. When I did I found myself laughing too XD **

**Lunarsparks- Cool name btw :D Thanks for reviewing and I agree with how awesome her attitude and such is... thanks for the compliment ^.^**

Chapter 3: I Can Take Care of Myself

I woke up, and suddenly I felt panicked as dark, cold, wet stone greeted me. _Where am I?_ Then I remembered, silly me. I'm just here… where I apparently live at now. I glanced around and saw everybody was sleeping, their sides falling and rising softly. My eyes found Streak, the mouse-brain idiot who 'introduced' me to a few cats yesterday. I had to introduce myself in reality. Then my gaze flitted over to the only other she-cat in this advanced group or whatever you want to call it. Now that I count it, there are sixteen of us. I only recognized two other cats; Rock, who is showing signs of being a cruel cat, and the blue she-cat with white stripes. I still don't know her name. I don't care.

I got to my paws quietly, and slipped out of the den by myself. No other cats were awake even in the other den where the average warriors slept. On soft, light paws I went into the main cave that was also nearly pitch black. I crept out into the darkness, not even the shadows stirring. I silently darted up a tree, climbing to the top so I could see all that lie before me. Everything that I could claim was mine. I closed my eyes as the moon rose in the sky, not yet to its highest peak. I let my rhythmic breathing soothe me as a slight breeze ruffled my silvery fur. I breathed in the warm scent riding on the wind, promising the usual greenleaf weather.

My left foreleg draped across a branch almost parallel to the ground, my three other legs clinging tightly to the rough bark. I love being in the trees, and I can navigate through them like any squirrel could, but I have a fear of heights. I push it down so much that sometimes I forget I'm afraid, but my snap-decision reactions still default to being afraid of heights. I closed my eyes, and let my slow, soft breathing carry me to sleep. The usual nightmares didn't touch me, couldn't touch me. I dimly heard yowls, cat yowls, in the background as black figures attempted to touch me, but then a dazzling white cat would fight it off. There seemed to be many, here, there, everywhere. And odd enough, they had pure white wings. Wings. A cat with wings.

I didn't have any questioning thoughts about the black figures, but of course I questioned the wings. Winged cats? My thoughts are really rather odd….

^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^

When I awoke the sun glowed slightly in my eyes, making my pelt feel warm psychically though I still felt the dull cold in my chest. I've always had it there, ever since… then. I slid down the trunk, and came face-to-face with a stocky cream-colored tom.

"Watch where you're going, mouse-brain." I snarled as I stalked off. He only stared after me, his dark amber eyes blinking in bewilderment. _I'm absolutely surrounded by dumb cats! Idiots!_ I know others think I think I'm superior to them, and honestly I do. They're clumsy, slow, just plain dumb. They couldn't understand a problem if it slapped them in the face. _Idiots,_ I thought for about the millionth time in my life.

I swiftly caught three mice and two fish, and after I ate a blackbird and then I returned to camp after the sun had only barely risen. I left my prey where I had left it yesterday and I went back to the little cave nearly unnoticed. I settled down on the cold stone, and I tried to sleep but I kept shifting uneasily. _What's wrong with me?_

With an impatient growl I got up and starting grooming my spiking fur down. After I had finished my pelt seemed to glow in the darkness. _What now? Normally I explore or hunt or sleep for the day… I can't explore because I may not be able to find my way back, I just hunted enough for at least five cats, and obviously I can't sleep._

I heard a sigh and I heard pawsteps thud towards me. "You're going to wake everybody up with all your tossing and turning, do you want to go out hunting or something?" I turned my hostile eyes away from the wall to find a handsome- no, I did _not _just think that. I swear I didn't. Anyways, I turned my eyes to see a young looking tom with a black pelt with fiery red forepaws and friendly dark blue eyes.

"I just caught three mice, two fish, and a blackbird. Is that not enough?" I answered with less fire than I aim at others who are stone cold. I may be defensive, infuriating, annoying, sharp-tongued, and down-right rebellious, but I still have a heart. It may be torn and iced, but it's still there.

"I was just trying to spare you of how long the older cats' lectures can go on about how you disturbed their well-earned rest and blah blah blah." His dark blue eyes rolled to the right as his left ear twitched.

"They'll leave me alone, or they'll have to retire after the injuries I give them." I turned away from him, curling up in a ball. But he prodded me again. "What's your problem?"

"Come on, please?" He begged, his blue eyes rounding out innocently.

"I can see why you're one of the advanced warriors or whatever you wish to call them." I commented dryly. "Afraid of the dark?"

"Afraid of loneliness." He shrugged and continued to sit beside me. His pelt nearly touching mine infuriated me beyond anything else he has done for some reason.

"If anything I'm going to drive everyone away." I muttered almost pitifully as I pulled myself into a tighter ball.

"You just haven't given anyone a chance." He yawned as he shook his fur out. "I'll leave you alone afterwards." he promised.

"Fine." I snapped, and got to my paws. "I'm only going because you'll finally leave me alone."

"Believe the lies you wish to." He teased as he led out of the tunnel. His silly teasing was annoying, I don't know why. Anything happy anybody does makes me feel hollow, lonely, which leads to anger and fury.

"You haven't been out since you were captured, have you?" He asked as I glanced around blankly, I only lived near here for less than a day.

"At least you openly admit that I wasn't ever supposed to be here." I muttered, not answering his question nor denying it.

"That wasn't the question." He murmured almost dejectedly.

"And that wasn't the answer." I rolled my eyes and scented the air. Nothing.

"Why do you have to be so difficult?"

"Why do you have to care?" I countered.

"Because you're the new cat and they're usually picked on."

"Hah, I'm not picked on because I'm new."

"So you are picked on?"

"And you care why?"

"You're _trying _to get me mad…." He sighed and muttered something under his breath.

"So what if I am?" I muttered.

"Can you just not stand being friendly? Even for a few seconds." I glared at him icily, giving me a few seconds to think of a comeback.

"I can't stand being around idiots who think they know everything, duh." I spat back heatedly, though I know that's not the real reason. He doesn't deserve to know the true reason, nobody does. It would turn me weak. Or maybe I am weak because of the real reason. I'm already weak. _No I'm not!_

"If you'd stop lying to yourself for one quick minute maybe you'd have friends." He countered as his fur started to rise. _Almost got rid of him, thank goodness._

"Who says I want friends." I muttered under my breath. His dark blue eyes glared at me, but he said nothing. He just padded next to me quietly. Too quietly. The silence was killing me, I need to let my rage out somehow.

I heard a squirrel, but by the time I crouched down the tom had already pinned it down. I growled as he gave it a clean killing bite.

"It was mine." I growled as he buried the squirrel. _What's the point of catching a warm, freshly-killed squirrel and then drench it with dirt? Disgusting._

"Catch it faster next time." He shrugged casually as he lifted his nose slightly to scent for any other prey. Nothing.

"You only caught it because in fear it ran into the tree in fear." I pointed out. He pouted, growling and whining at the same time.

"Bet you can't fish." He taunted as he strode over to the stream running with water and many plump, tasty fish.

"Bet I can." I puffed out my chest and smirked to myself. _He hasn't the least idea of what my favorite food is._

"Oh yeah?" He immediately swiped a paw through the water, and it pierced a fish but it wriggled out of his grasp with ease. His face fell and I laughed.

"Nice going, I can see how great of a fish-catcher you are." His whiskers twitched angrily while his tail lashed.

"Never thought anybody could ever get to me." He muttered as I sat down next to the calming water.

"Cough cough softie." I stretched my claws out as far as possible, and in one clean swipe I scooped a fish bigger than the one he missed out onto the shore. I gave it one bite and abruptly dropped it in front of his paws. "And did I mention fish is my favorite?"

"Only because they're like you, they're slimy, cold, and hard to catch." He failed to come up with an actually decent comeback. Again.

"Ah, I'm hard to catch now aren't I?" I smirked at his dismayed face. _Toms run after anything that moves, I swear._ I could almost feel the the heat rolling off of his pelt in waves. I walked around swinging my hips, making him turn hotter. "Didn't mean it like that, did you?"

"You actually think I meant it like that?" he sneered, though his ears gradually flattened against his head in embarrassment.

"Judging by the enormous waves of heat coming off of you, I think so." I rolled my icy blue eyes after my own blunt comment. I know he just failed at coming back with a smart comeback, but the heat coming off his pelt was unnerving. I casually caught another large fish as he just stood there, just blankly staring at me. "You are a disappointment to me, you can't even come up with an original comeback. You are a failure in life."

"You're even sadder, you judge how successful you are in life by how fast you can become a jerk." _He's set this argument well, for me anyways. No promises for him._

"I've been a jerk, I didn't become one overnight." _Actually I kind of did…. But he doesn't need to know that, now does he?_ "And that was better, but make it more to where cats care what it is you're saying."

"You are absolutely infuriating!" He growled as he stomped off.

"I try!" I called out lightly. I snorted to myself and caught a few more fish before returning to camp. With a full mouth I strode back into the cave confidently, cats turning their questioning gazes towards me. I could almost feel their unspoken questions, thoughts. _Who is she and why is she walking as if she's superior? Why is her head held so high, why are her steps thudding with pride?_

I picked the smallest fish for myself, and went to the smaller cave. It was halfway to sunhigh, and I was still wide awake. Only one cat was still left in the cave, a medium brown tom with black tabby stripes, with pale yellow-green eyes. He gave me a curt nod and I just ignored him and went back to where I had attempted to sleep last night, off on the left side as close to the wall as possible. _I really need to get some moss or something here so I can fall asleep faster._

"Moss is in a small cave connected to this, goes underground. Entrance is under the ledge from ground to the caves." The brown tom informed me. I felt surprise grip me, was he…? He couldn't have been. That's not possible.

"Only reason I'm here, I can read minds." He muttered as his striking yellow eyes opened. "I'm not too strong, but thinking is my area of expertise."

"B-but that's not possible!" I stuttered in the beginning of my protest, but my voice grew stronger at the end. "You're lying."

"How else would I know that you were wondering where to find moss, mouse-brain?" He asked dryly.

"Great. I'm surrounded by idiots and freaks." I muttered as I turned my back on him, my eyes gazing blankly at the stone cold wall. I heard shuffling and he came up next to me. "Can you cats not understand when one wants to be left alone?" I hissed.

"You'll need friends in this place, Synndra." Again, that rage at someone calling me by my name that they don't deserve. His voice was low and warning, though I brushed it off like a pesky fly that won't stop bothering you.

"I'm tough enough to survive on my own." I snarled as I got to my paws and faced him. "What's the worse that can happen, they hate me? Oh how awful, because I've never experienced that before." I rolled my eyes as he let out a soft sigh.

"This place will seem alright, but that's until you have to meet… the others. A few cats have died because they picked a fight with the wrong crowd." His whiskers twitched as his pelt seemed to tremble with anger and terror. "If not friends, you'll need others that will stick up for you."

"The others seemed to stick up for me when Streak was being a mouse-brain." I muttered disbelievingly.

"That's just because nobody likes the other-confident mouse-brain." He rolled his pale yellow-green eyes as his whiskers twitched. Mine did too, but only ever so slightly. "Most have already seen what has happened to others when you stick up for the hated ones, and they keep away."

"I could outmatch them in speed anyday." I muttered. "So are these 'scary murderers' some of the stronger ones or just the pathetic fools in the other cave?" I jerked my head towards the tunnel to the larger cave.

"They're some of the smarter, stronger normal cats." He muttered, stealing a glance at the tunnel. "They're so envious they kill us off. We had twentyfive, but half of us were rebellious and the other half was cautious. I'll bet you can guess which half got it."

"I will survive. I got the heart of a tiger." I turned away from him and he fell silent. Finally. About time, too.

"I'll stick up for you if you want, I stick up for anyone really. Just subtly."

"I told you, I can take care of myself." I growled back. He dipped his head and strode out of the den. I can take care of myself, how else have I survived a whole year by myself?

**Third chapter... done! I love this book soooo much, I think I'm going to have to say even more so than the Elementals... sorry people who like my other book more so xD Thanks for reading as always and review please :)**

**~Ashthief**


	4. Freedom, For Some

**Hey! Sorry I hadn't updated in a bit... reasons are at the bottom author's note. I don't feel like rewriting it... I apologize for my laziness. Thanks for all the reviews :D Love you guys! (as people, of course...)**

**~Review replies~**

**Grayfur of WindClan- Thank you again for reviewing... it's greatly appreciated :) Yeah Synndra is kinda anti-social. I had been trying to sum up her personality in one word... you have found the word lol**

**Lunarsparks- No problem! I looked at your name and I was like wow how original xD Thanks for complimenting the chapter, I thought it showed her character a bit more and more. I can't wait and see where this story goes too, I really love writing it :D**

**Fluffball569- Cute name, just wanted to say that xD Thank you sooo much for the compliment, I am soo happy people are loving this story :D I like a bit of a laugh in my stories too, the tragedy not so much but it makes it more interesting xD Yes Synndra is AWESOMEEEEEE, her sassiness is so funny xD It really is fun to write about too ;)**

**Skylark of Field- YAY someone actually responded to my question xD Nightfall was kind of hopelessly in love... never thought of it exactly like that but I think you NAILED IT ^.^ Again, I'm so happy people are loving this... hopefully as much as I love writing it :3**

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**Also, thank you to 'guest' I'm not sure if you are two different people... but thanks anyways! ^.^**

Chapter 4: Freedom, For Some

For the rest of the day I just sat around on my tail, hunted every once in a while, and slept. It was somewhat relaxing, but I still kept myself alert at all times. One can never be too cautious, you know.

No other annoying cats bothered me for the rest of the day, but the brown tom's warning stayed in my mind. Could I _really _be killed because I'm not the most sympathetic cat? Or was he just trying to scare me? I don't know.

I slept soundly, or at least as soundly as I could with the end of the nightmares being me dead, the killer walking free because nobody cares. Then I would black out, I'd wake up, and then once I lay my head down again it'd replay in my mind.

^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^

"Get up." I felt a paw with slightly unsheathed claws prod my shoulder. I instantly lunged for whoever touched me, my mind still blurry with sleep but sharp enough to pin him down. It was a tom, easy to tell by his deeper meow. Surprised, Streak clawed back, but they glanced weakly off my right foreleg.

"I swear I was just getting you up, not trying to murder you!" He hissed as I just stared blankly at him, as if not comprehending the message he was trying to convey. Playing dumb, it works more than it should these days.

"And I swear I will kill you next time you startle me." I got off of him, but I continued to glare just to unnerve him. A murdering glint, some strays would say.

"Consider half of your goal done." He muttered as he swiftly licked his white fur down, spiky from shock and startlement.

"Now what was so important you had to interrupt my wonderful dream of being murdered?" I glowered at him as he rolled his eyes. He wakes me up, he has to deal with a not-so-happy Synndra. He can't expect me to be in a happy state when I'm dreaming of being murdered and then taps a claw on my shoulder.

"Dark wants to see exactly what you do and don't know." I turned away, curled myself back up in a tight ball, closed my eyes, and muttered, "I know more than you and I don't know how you live with yourself."

"I can see how great and respectful of a warrior you'll be." He growled impatiently as I 'pretended to be asleep.'

"Why be respectful when you could be the one respected?" I muttered grumpily as my ears flattened to block out his angry mews.

"She'll make a great leader, give her a break Streak." Dark padded in, his footsteps barely making a sound.

"She's an arrogant fool, she'd make an awful leader." Streak muttered. Dark merely gave him a withering glance, and turned his dark green gaze towards me, of which I felt it scorch my back as I refused to turn around.

"She's a cat who knows when and when not her input is wanted." He glared pointedly at the white tom, and after muttering something that sounded resentful he lowered his head. "I want to test you."

"Bye Streak, have fun failing."

"Actually, I was talking about-"

"You wouldn't understand sarcasm if it slapped you in the face." I snapped heatedly as I squeezed my eyes shut. "Which is why I'd make a twice as good leader as you. I may not be the most sympathetic cat, but others would obey due to respect, not fear."

"They don't listen based on fear." he snapped back hotter than I had. I wasn't trying, though. Which is the sad thing.

"Ask a cat like me and they'll say otherwise." I murmured as I gave a fake yawn. "Well, now you know I know more about your cats and I don't know how you don't know. Night."

"Fighting-wise I'd like to see how good you are." I almost sensed his eyes narrow in outrage and anger.

"Fighting-wise I'm faster than you and wiser than that Scowl or whatever." I gave a dramatic pause, "and I'm stronger than Streak."

"You only pinned me down because-"

"-I surprised you. How pathetic is that? Surprise is a key element of fighting, if you aren't prepared for it then you are absolutely no match for me. I managed to fight that brown pelted tom off because as a rogue I always have to be on guard. Therefore I survived. You have only survived because you're a coward and will run away from fights." I spat at the white tom as Dark muttered in annoyance under his breath. "Oh, I'm sorry, was I not being the perfect, kind, loving, stupid warrior everybody else is? My mistake, I forgot being myself isn't always the right thing."

"One more word and you'll be kicked out." Dark threatened as I heard a clean swipe as his claws slid out.

"That's all I've ever wanted!" I leapt to my paws and dashed out of the tunnel like a silly kit. "Bye!" _Well played, Synndra._ I thought to myself as I raced out of the tunnel. I heard a snort, Streak by the somewhat relief. He couldn't let me get away fast enough. But I heard thudding pawsteps, and with a slight, quick glance behind me I saw Dark racing after me.

"Synndra, halt!" He yowled as I outpaced him.

"You're not the leader of me. You never were." I slowed down to tease him, sending a smirk at him. "You did basically exile me, anyways."

"You're coming back." He snarled as I darted out of reach. I could feel the tension and annoyance crackling in the air. Perfect.

"Hah, I'm never going back!" I pretended to trip over a stone, and the second I 'tripped' he pounced. Only I darted out of reach again. I laughed kind of harshly, enjoying how he failed at taming me. I am a wolf, I am wild and untameable. I am a lone wolf, most of all. I need no one, ask for nothing, get nothing. It works out, and everybody is happy. As in I'm perfectly fine while others get infuriated with me, as quick as a flash of lightning.

I leapt up a tree smoothly, my lean muscles rippling with ease. He attempted to claw his way up, but he ended up landing awkwardly. I just stared blankly as him as he winced.

"Did the poor kitty get a scratch?" I mewed innocently as he glared at me. Out of where, I don't know, but something flew into me and I stumbled out of the tree, though my claws vainly fought to stay on. Terrified, I tried to wrap my forelegs onto the branch in terror, but they slipped and I crashed to the ground.

"Afraid of heights, eh?" Dark's eyes glowed triumphantly as he pinned me down. Swiftly twisting to the right, I darted away from his grasp but he managed to catch a hind leg with his claws. I quickly leapt away, but I accidentally raced into a tree trunk. I heard more pawsteps, and as I blacked out I faintly felt my fur scraping against the grass, dragging.

^.^.^.^.^.^.^

"Get your claws off me." I woke to hear a deep mew with an angry edge. I opened my eyes and saw a dark blue tom with striking black stripes growl, his skinny frame trembling. In front of him stood a solid looking black tom with large brown splotches, green eyes glowering with fury. His stocky frame was bristling, fur fluffing up to make him look bigger than Dark.

"I can do anything I want, you can't order me around." He retorted as his claws dug into the blue tabby cat's skin, but he refused to flinch. Without any second thoughts I launched myself at the larger tom, my claws piercing exactly where I aimed for. They pricked his shoulder as he tried to turn around, trying to reach me. I dug my claws in deeper, clinging tighter. He twisted to the left, and I lost my balance. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the blue-pelted tom huddling next to the wall, trembling.

"What's going on in there?" I heard another mew call, deep and thrumming. The stocky black and brown tom managed to pin me down, but I vainly kept clawing at his stomach with my claws. I heard a few more thundering pawsteps, suddenly quickening. As another cat flipped me onto my belly so I'd be rendered helpless, the black and brown tom stepped away from me. Nevertheless, I kept fighting, spitting and clawing best I could.

"What exactly am I doing here?" I demanded as I was pinned down, helpless. I hate feeling helpless, hopeless. No answer. "Oh yeah, I forgot because I'm a prisoner of some sort I'm immediately dismissed as stupid and worthless."

"Glad you're smart enough to pick up on that." A she-cat, dark ginger with black forepaws, growled dryly as I was let up. I glared at her, but not without an intimidating hiss.

"Did someone actually make a good comeback? Oh thank goodness I'm not alone. I thought all these cats were too caught up in making their fur look pretty, or something stupid like that. Oh wait, they are." I rolled my icy, glaring blue eyes as the she-cat's fur fluffed up in outrage. I smirked as I was shoved into a smaller cave, by myself. "Told you you cats are caught up in something stupid, I see bones over there."

"Those aren't bones, idiot." The black and brown tom retorted as two more cats were placed as guards outside the cave. I looked at them with disdain, insignificance.

"Apparently you cats don't realize you'll need more than a few soft guards to stop me." I commented as my fur lay flat, unstirring as three hostile glares attempted to scorch my fur, their gazes boring down on my back.

"We are Dark's personal guards, we're not in the least soft." A light gray tabby tom growled, his claws swiftly unsheathing without hesitation.

"I don't believe you." They looked as if they were waiting for an explanation, but I just sat there with a blank look on my face. "So where did that coward go?"

"Well the blue tom was-"

"You are absolutely clueless, you cats make me depressed with your failure of understanding what smart cats are saying." I mewed with disdain, my gaze flitting over them only briefly, my eyes dull and bored.

"You're clueless." A smokey gray tom with light blue eyes snapped, somewhat lamely. Well, that doesn't do it justice to simply say it was lame, in truth it was an epic fail. Spirit fail, even.

I shook my head slowly, almost mournfully. "You see what I mean there? Your comebacks are what I said only you shortened it."

"We weren't put in the highest ranks based on how good we were on being smart." The brown and black tom snapped. Again, I let my gaze dull with boredom.

"Okay, I'm done with your petty games. Why am I being held prisoner, or is this just a sad welcome back 'home' party?"

"You really think cats are happy you're back?" One tom, black with a white chest, asked dully.

"You really think I care what words come out of your mouth?" I shot back in an instant, feeling satisfied by the facial expression that was on his face, he was completely taken aback. _Why am I always underestimated? I'm smarter, quicker, stronger in the mind and body. Why am I underestimated? I'm stronger than most cats, smarter. Why do cats look at me and think I'm weak? I've proven times over that I need no one and I'm as good as anybody else here._ Yet I'm still belittled.

"Dark says you'll be kept prisoner until you vow you will never run away." The she-cat explained stiffly as silence settled thickly in the air.

"I won't run away from Dark. Happy? Good." With a mighty leap, I flew over all three of them and raced out of the cave on light, confident paws. As the five cats in all leapt at me, I ducked beneath all but one. The she-cat was smart and stayed behind, but I easily swatted her away without much effort. The blue tabby tom was gaping with astonishment, and I quickly hissed, "get out or you'll stay here until you die."

"Thanks." He meowed hoarsely as he followed me out of the 'prisoner cave.' But I was quickly stopped by Dark himself as a large paw was brought down on my head. Or at least it would have been, if I hadn't ducked. A few of the warriors scattered out in the main cave raced at me and the skinny blue tom, and we were circled. _There's no we! Just me, myself, and I._

"I never said I was leaving, although any cat in their right mind would once I've been imprisoned for not being the perfect little cat I'm supposed to be." I muttered as Dark faced me, his fur bristling while his eyes were green fire.

"You're trying to let a murderer escape." He hissed as his eyes darted towards the blue tabby.

"I don't have a name now, do I?" He muttered under his breath, but not quietly enough. As a lithe dark brown tom attempted to claw him for speaking, I quickly darted to intervene. In the blink of the eye I whirled around and bunched my muscles to spring at the lithe dark brown tabby. I bowled him over before he could lay a claw on the blue tabby, and in no time I pinned him down as I, somewhat viciously I suppose, bit his throat deeply. He let out a cry, and I was thrust onto my back.

"I told you she was never anything but trouble." Streak muttered from the front of the crowd, his eyes glaring almost triumphantly. _Cheeky mouse-brained idiot._ A few more strings of insulting names ran through my mind before it went totally silent.

"You will be one of the warriors we need." Dark hissed, staring me down as I was allowed to rise to my paws. With savage satisfaction I saw the dark brown tom limp off, barely able to stay on his paws.

"You've said that too many times to count, and I've yet to change." I paused for a second as his whiskers twitched in annoyance. "If that's even possible, which I forgot to mention there's no changing me. I like myself the way I am, and nobody can convince me otherwise." With a smirk, I added, "especially not mouse-brains who think they own everybody and everything they set their eyes on."

"You can be prisoner or one of the most respected-"

"Hah, you think others respect me. Shows how much you know." I rolled my icy eyes after my own comment.

"They do, if you'd just give them a reason _to _respect you," he snarled as his claws sheathed and unsheathed, becoming a black if not a dark gray blur.

"Who says I care if I'm respected?" I countered as I let my fur bristle.

"Fine, I'll make you a deal." He offered flatly as his voice dulled, he's giving up. He's tired of fighting, my bickering skills come in handy more often than they don't. "If you agree to stay your newfound friend-"

"How about cat mistreated because of some little mistake? I have no friends." Dark merely nodded warily, he'll do anything for me I realize. "And the other four cats I saw slinking in the shadows."

"But they weren't even near you, how-"

"I have a nose." I answered the unfinished question dryly.

"Fine." He agreed, and most cats immediately protested.

"She doesn't know of the havoc they caused!"

"She's an outsider, she wouldn't know!"

"Never trust a rogue."

"You can't be serious!"

"Second chances exist, do they not?" I snarled louder than anyone else, and for the most part they quieted down.

"Set Legend, Hunter, Dragon, Fire, and Lion free." Dark ordered in a strong, commanding voice. The five of his guards shuffled without a hint of reluctance and fetched the four other cats.

"Hunter was always too smart for his own good, and too depressed." One cat meowed darkly as he cast a suspicious glance at the dark blue tabby. Hunter, if that's his name, I'm just guessing, slowly crept over to me timidly, his skinny figure quivering.

"Thanks." He murmured quietly, his dull fur flat, his eyes lifeless. It's obvious he's been prisoner for some time, how long I dare not ask.

"No problem." I muttered as I sat beside him, the silence unnerving me. I've given four other cats a second chance, and honestly I'm just the slight bit curious who they are. Behind the five large cats with stocky, thick muscles crept four thin cats, in the same condition if not worse than Hunter.

Three were she-cats, much to my surprise. Most of the cats here seemed to be toms, I assume most the she-cats are suited to be queens with kits, not warriors. The one who seemed to be the leader was a fiery ginger tom, not a mark on his ragged pelt. His medium blue eyes glittered warily as he glanced at his surroundings. The cat one step behind him was a tough looking she-cat, a deep gold with light brown eyes that were narrowed suspiciously. The cat behind her was a more-so friendly looking she-cat, black with light, friendly blue eyes. The cat padding in the back was a suspicious dark golden she-cat with light ginger patches, her light green eyes guarded.

"This is the cat that bribed Dark to let you free, remember you go back once a whisker is out of line." A dark cream tom growled, shoving the four cats forward as he gave them a look of disdain. He underestimates them too. All four, as if on cue, narrowed their eyes but gave a curt nod.

"We offer no thanks," the solid golden she-cat growled, her light brown eyes narrowing as she studied me.

"And I expected none." I lifted my head and looked at her, as she stared at me. I felt a dislike ripple down my spine, surging through my blood.

"She's just being a mouse-brain, we do appreciate it." The black she-cat murmured, though her voice sounded hollow. She's weak, like they all are. I curtly nodded, and then continued on my way out. I slipped off into the thicker part of the forest, wondering things I dared not think about before. _Am I becoming soft? I actually stayed so others could have a chance at life. I actually cared, on a minor scale but I did. I felt pity. No, I'm not weak, how could I even think that?_

"It sure has changed." I leapt back in surprise at the blue tabby's voice, scaring me out of my thoughts.

"Next time talk when someone cares." I spat at him as I stalked off, but he pursued me. _Why am I surrounded by cats who _try _to annoy me?_ "Why are you following me?"

"Because I don't know my way around and obviously I'm in no state to hunt by myself but I'm sick of that cave." He answered casually, able to keep up with my fast pace despite his awful condition.

"Leave me alone, everywhere I go I'm annoyed by lesser cats!" I tried to lose him, picking up my pace. But he still acted like he could keep up easily, though his sides heaved and his mouth hung wide open. "Leave me alone, or do I have to kill you as the only other option?"

"You wouldn't kill me." He answered simply as his dark blue eyes glazed over. "What would be the point of saving my life if you end up ending it anyways?"

"I don't have to answer you." I snapped as I ran as fast as I could, the cloud cover turning the ground dark. I lengthened my stride, and with a quick glance I didn't see anybody following me, so I slowed down and stopped to hunt. I knew the fish wouldn't be out, seeing as it's about to start raining. I pounced on a mouse, hooked a squirrel, caught another mouse. Just going through the motions.

I brought my prey back to the cave, and guess who was waiting for me. Can't a cat take a hint as obvious as the ones I've been dropping?

"What do you want?" I asked warily after he followed me to the fresh-kill pile. "Can't you take a hint?"

"I want a friend, I've been lonely in that cave. The others don't truly accept me." Pity almost touched me, but I forced it down to the bottom of my heart. _I don't care what he feels, his fault for talking to me in the first place. It doesn't matter to me._

"That's your problem, not mine now is it?" I padded away with a squirrel in my jaws, but he kept close to my heels. "I swear I'm going to kill you sooner or later."

"Never most likely instead of later." He muttered as he strode beside me.

"Only the 'advanced warriors' go to the smaller cave in the back." I snapped at him as I nearly slipped into the cave.

"I _was _an advanced warrior, mouse-brain." he muttered under his breath, though his next statement was sharper. "I wasn't born yesterday."

"No, you just nearly died yesterday." I answered flatly, and with a large sigh I slipped into the smaller cave, a dark blue-black room dripping with water. I went off to the edge and hoped he would leave me alone, but as soon as I came to a halt he did too. "Leave me alone, will you?" I snarled as my claws flexed, glittering in the dim light.

"I need a friend, you need someone to protect you, where's the harm?" He gazed at me simply, as if I wasn't some sort of miniature terror that normally claws a cat's throat out if they get me upset enough. And quite frankly, it doesn't take too much to set me off.

"For the last time, I don't need someone to protect me." I growled as my tail gave one single lash. He ignored it.

"I was imprisoned because I was set up by some of the average warriors." He told me in a low voice, cautious, wary voice. He glanced around nervously, as if he was afraid someone would hear.

"Find someone who cares." I growled as I curled up in a tight ball, ignoring his mews. He just laid down right beside me, his dark blue tabby fur brushing mine. I hissed in annoyance and got up, trudging away from the infuriating tom. But he just followed me, his paws softly hitting the stone cold floor.

After a few more times of constant moving, I gave up and went to sleep. His fur was warm, and eventually I felt warmer where his fur slightly touched mine. _No! I don't want him here! I only pretty much saved his life, nothing more. I want nothing more to do with him!_ I tried my best to convince myself I didn't want him anywhere near me, ever, but in the back of my mind I heard the other tom's warning. _You'll need friends in this place, Synndra_. No I don't. I don't need, or even _want _friends. No I don't.

**Synndra's got a bit of an internal conflict, huh? I kind of liked this chapter, new cats and such. Sorry I haven't updated in a few days... I feel awful :( I was on vacation in a small town a few hours out of town... Sorry! Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and review please ^.^ They are greatly appreciated, I promise!**

**~Ashthief**


	5. Going Through the Motions

**Hi! Sorry for not updating in almost a week... I'd remember to post the new chapter and then I'd get distracted and forget all over again... I get sidetracked pretty easily :/ And, just to go off topic for no apparent reason, is it just me or has this summer gone by too fast? My mom pointed out this morning that I have like... two or three weeks until school again :( I've had a great summer, consisting of mostly writing and being lazy, but I got to hang out with my friends a bit too. Hope you guys have had a great summer too!**

**~Review replies~**

**Grayfur of WindClan- Personally I think almost all these chapters are funny in their own way xD Thanks for reviewing again :) It is very much appreciated!**

**Fluffball569- No problem! It was just a random thought that popped in my head xD And I don't believe I know what pood is? Synndraclaw sounds kind of silly xD (not intending to offend lol)**

**DimensionJumperCacey- I know I do too... but idk if it will happen anyways :( We'll see... and yeah that did briefly occur to me as an option if I have her fall in love and such. You never know... but all I do know is that she will definitely be on an emotional rollercoaster most of this story. I think the inner struggles make it kind of interesting.**

**Lunarsparks- Love how you said 'fabulous chapter'... fabulous isn't used too much these days xD Yes, poor Synndra is but at the same time I like the chaos her mind is always in... is that entirely wrong? xD Choices always do decide our future, sadly. For the better or worse, we'll see ;)**

**On with the chapter! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it! **

Chapter 5: Going Through the Motions

When I woke up, I didn't wake up because I wanted to. Hunter's paws were rested on my back, and I felt claws pricking my skin when I suddenly awoke. I instantly flew to my paws, the blue tom's forelegs merely falling to the ground. He didn't even wake up as I hissed in annoyance, his tail just twitched. I shook out my fur, and left the cave. I suddenly remembered something I had been looking for a day or two ago… moss.

I went under the ledge into an even smaller cave, and all around was moss. Dry, soft moss piled to the roof. It looked like a palace of moss, covering the walls and floor. It squished beneath my padded paws as I went to the back of the room to retrieve some. Neat piles were stacked in the back, and I couldn't help but wonder, _how did they get this this neat and pile it up so high?_ I took the largest bundle I could in my jaws, and softly padded back to the cave. The blue tabby was still where I usually slept, so with a frustrated sigh I built the nest around him.

Once I was satisfied, Hunter happened to wake up. As soon as I thought I was done, I thought to myself irritably. For a second he looked confused, he's probably not used to waking up to soft snores. But when he caught sight of me his eyes seemed to grow distant, he's probably remembering I guessed.

"Move, trying to make a nest here." I muttered as he got to his paws.

"What a great cat to wake up to." He teased, though he moved obediently and I quickly placed some moss down where he had lay only a few moments ago. "Hunting?"

"You can." I answered flatly, avoiding his question. His whiskers twitched, probably trying to figure out my backstory and everything. Most likely he has by now. Analyzing me.

"I meant do you want to come hunting with me?" His dark blue eyes glimmered hopefully, and I rolled my eyes as I refused to answer. "Just once?"

"No, I can manage on my own fine." I snapped as I finished my nest, nice and large. "I don't understand why it's on all you cats' daily agendas to annoy me as much as possible."

"You just _get _annoyed when someone at least tries to be friendly. If you weren't so uptight you might actually survive this place." He stared at me, clearly looking for a response. _If it's a response he's looking for, he's not getting one,_ I thought as I just brushed past him on confident paws. But he followed me, and I growled in annoyance.

As I swung around to confront him, my claws slid out in one, quick, clean motion. I snarled before saying a word, it seems to make cats more likely to listen.

"I swear I'm going to kill you if you come anywhere near me again." My neck fur bristled while my icy blue eyes turned a blue fire. _Why can't I just get away? I don't want friends!_ I thought to myself for about the hundredth time. But his calmness was what infuriated me more than anything. He just simply stared back with a blank look, barely even acknowledging the fact I was making death threats.

"If I'm not ever going to be your friend, can you at least be someone who will stick up for me when I'm picked on?" He asked, almost begged. _What a pathetic loser._ But nonetheless, I still agreed, if only to get him away.

"Fine." I snapped less heatedly. He nodded rather formally, but his dark blue eyes glowed with appreciation.

"Thanks. Most cats around here seem to realize you're one of the best fighters… and no one will even glance in my direction." He glanced around the cave, as if looking for something.

"Prey is between the nursery and warriors' den." I muttered, just taking a shot in the dark. He rolled his eyes, but he stayed right where he was.

"I ate last night, mouse-brain. Where else would I get prey from?" _If I'm going to be his 'protector' or whatever, he needs to figure out how to stand up for himself using words. And how to not set up a conversation to where the other cat has an advantage. You know, good comebacks that nobody knows how to respond to._

"Oh I don't know… the forest?" I shook my head, muttering to myself.

"Do you always have to be so sarcastic?"

"Do you always have to be so caring?" I shot back in the blink of an eye.

"I'm not usually very caring." Hunter snapped back, his comebacks getting better.

"Then why do you care now?" The question surprised even myself, I don't care. I don't care. I shouldn't care. I can't- I don't.

"Because you're like me." He shrugged, and padded out of the cave on light paws. _What is that supposed to mean? I am _nothing _like him. At all._ I raced after him, and it didn't even take a minute to catch up to him; he's still not in the best shape due to being holed up in a cave for who knows how long.

"What do you mean I'm like you? How could I possibly have anything in common with a murderer?" I knew I'd hit a nerve, he said he had been wrongly accused.

"I'm not a murderer!" He hissed defensively, and usually I enjoy getting a rise out of cats. But oddly enough, not this time. I felt something like… guilt? I wouldn't know, emotions are as foreign as the cold is in greenleaf.

"Fine, forget I said that," I told him flatly before continuing, "but really, what could we _ever_ have in common besides the fact we're both cats?"

"You've been outcasted ever since you've set paw in this cave, I've been outcasted since I was born. We both have no friends, have you not realized that?" He leaned his shoulder on a large oak, his head resting there too.

I honestly had no idea how to respond to that, I hadn't even thought of it like that. I stumbled in my head for an answer, but there was not one to be found.

"I may not be as ruthless as you, but I am most certainly more observant than you." He pointed as as I only glared at him, at a loss for words.

"Or you just care more than me." I muttered as I stalked off. He didn't follow me, much to my surprise. I only half-heartedly caught a squirrel, almost slipping out of my grasp as I clumsily pinned its tail as it attempted to scramble up the tree. I caught a fish, caught a blackbird, another fish. Again, just going through the motions.

I suddenly smelled foreign cat scent, and I gathered my prey in my mouth as quickly as possible as I scrambled up a tree. It's my safety and greatest fear, oddly. I clung tightly to the branches as I saw four cats pad below me. I breathed deeply after I set my prey down gently on the branches, no wind stirring the warm leaves.

It was the four cats I set free, their scent smelling of damp cave and something else… like infection. I saw the gold and red she-cat listen eagerly as the fiery red pelted tom spoke. I gingerly lowered myself from branch to branch to hear more, their voices were lowered, wary, cautious. _Why am I just saying the same thing only with different words?_

"So where do we go from here?" The solid golden pelted she-cat asked as silence settled gently among the group. I held my breath as the black she-cat glanced up at the sky, dark and cloudy. I softly moved slowly backwards, and I let a soft sigh of relief as her gaze flew past me.

"Take revenge due to use being wrongly accused or live our old life?" the golden and red she-cat asked as her eyes narrowed. Her mouth opened slightly as she breathed in the scents. Her pale green eyes lit up as she caught something of interest. I pressed myself closer to the branch, and before long she came back with a small mouse dangling in her jaws. The others said nothing, hadn't said anything since the absence of her presence.

"I think we should just become the respectful warriors we were supposed to be." The night-black she-cat announced.

"You mean forget they ever wronged us, Legend?" The golden she-cat snarled as her claws flexed impatiently. Her neck fur bristled in an instant, impressing even me. _Someone sure has a bitter grudge._

"All the evidence did point to us, to be fair," the dark golden she-cat with ginger patches pointed out. "How could they have known it wasn't us?"

"They could have believed us, Dragon." The fiery ginger tom snarled as his claws unsheathed too.

"I don't want to go back to that cave." Dragon muttered as Legend nodded her head in firm agreement.

"We deserve their apologies, they don't even realize they wrongly accused us!" the golden she-cat snarled.

"And you wonder why they thought Lion was possibly the murderer." Dragon muttered to the black she-cat. She nodded as she trotted over to the gold and ginger she-cat, and sat down by her side. "What do you think, Fire?"

"I think they need to hear the truth." He meowed as his claws went back into their sheathe. "And if they don't listen, their loss. They'll pay for their mistake later."

"You can't possibly be siding with those other soft she-cats!" Lion shrieked as her lips drew back in a snarl.

"You think you're soft in order to even be noticed by you?" Legend shot back as she got to her paws, her fur bristling with outrage. "Or any of you stuck up cats. Save Dragon."

"Stop. The end of us will be when we turn on each other." Fire commanded, and immediately all three she-cats fell silent. "I smell a cat."

"There _are _three others in front of you." Lion rolled her eyes as she casually licked a paw and drew it over her ear.

"Not you three!" He snapped as his mouth slightly hung open. His ears suddenly shoved forwards as his fur bristled. "I know you're there."

I said nothing, I just sat still as stone. I heard shuffling in a tree next to the one I lay hidden in, and to my surprise I saw Hunter slip out as his ears flattened. _You have nothing to be afraid of, mouse-brain._ I thought to myself as his tail swept the forest floor in shame.

"What are you doing here, mouse bile?" Fire growled as his claws unsheathed.

"I… I scented all four of you and I thought…." His voice trailed off, he couldn't think of a good excuse obviously.

"What exactly did you think?" Lion demanded as her claws also unsheathed. Legend and Dragon just watched with mild interest, it's obvious they don't know him too well or care. _She's just trying to impress him, make Fire side with her. She's pathetic, she obviously likes him. Lion's so desperate to impress him, to get him to pay attention to her she'll agree with him on anything. It's just depressing. I'll never be that moony-eyed about anybody. Ever._

"You may not have been the killers, but I know how twisted you can be, trying to impress Fir-" the dark blue tabby was cut off by Lion as soon as she realized what he was about to reveal. In my opinion it's so obvious it's sad nobody else knows, it shouldn't _have_ to be revealed.

"I don't want to impress anyone!" She cut him off as she snarled in his face. He flinched, and I felt like yelling at him, _never flinch or else they know they got you beat! Mouse-brains, the whole lot of them!_

"I'll just be going now, and let you two lovebirds work out how you're going to overthrow Dark and his loyal warriors." Hunter almost got away with it, but the golden she-cat stopped him before he could escape.

"Lovebirds my tail! We are _not_." she growled as her fur bristled further. At this point I got tired of lying in wait, so I leapt out of the tree and merely gave a formal nod to the cats gathered. Hunter didn't seem surprised, he must have scented me while I was so focused on the cats I didn't scent him.

"But you wish you were, now don't you?" I asked pointedly with a calm, cool look on my bright silver face. My blue eyes glared icily at the she-cat, I disliked her the heartbeat I even saw her. The heartbeat she opened her mouth. The heartbeat her eyes settled on me.

"I think you've both gone crazy," she snapped as her tail gave a single lash.

"Then why are there huge waves of embarrassment rolling off you? Not to mention you're obviously upset, seeing as your fur is bristling while your tail is lashing." I felt the usual satisfaction when I leave a cat speechless, due to the fact they have no words to shoot back. Her mouth just hung open, gaping in shock. "Am I dismissed, Lion's love?"

"I don't want to _ever _be called that again." Fire growled as his face furrowed into a frown, his lips drawn back in a snarl.

"Too bad you're not in charge of me, then." I looked at him squarely in the eye, and I saw something like interest spark in the depths of his medium blue eyes. "And does it really have to be revealed? Even I, an outsider to whatever this is, can recognize it when a cat is head over heels over a cat. Kind of desperate, isn't it, Lion?"

"What did I ever do to you to make you wreak havoc upon us?" She snarled and growled at the same time, warping it into a weird sound. I yawned casually as her claws unsheathed. As I licked a paw she pounced at me in a flash, but I was two steps ahead. Before even the _intention_ sparked in her mind I quickly sidestepped to the right, away from the others. As she crouched for a split second, I moved. She tried to change her direction last second, but it ended up making her land heavily. I unsheathed my claws and attacked from the side, swiftly raking my claws down her side before darting away again.

I had watched wolves fight, one time in the winter. I figured out how who seemed to be the leader won, he darted in to attack and then leapt backwards from any possible attacks.

"There's not much honor in defeating a half dead cat." Legend murmured as she looked at her friend, who was still on her side and breathing heavily. Blood trickled down her side only slightly, I didn't hurt her too bad on purpose. Just enough to set her in her place and assume mine.

"Then she shouldn't attack first." I answered sharply as I sat down, my silver fur not even ruffled as it glowed in the sun. "And I barely touched her."

"Feels worse than that." She growled breathlessly. When she tried to sit up she almost instantly flopped back on her side. I rolled my eyes as she winced.

"Only because I gave weak wounds to an even weaker cat." I snarled before getting to my paws. "Nice meeting you cats, but I need to get my prey and bring it back." I darted up in the tree, only to find a hawk eating my prey. I hissed, and after bunching my muscles I leapt at the black and brown bird. It squawked in surprised, and to ensure I will win I bit down sharply on its wings. I heard a _crack_ as the bone broke, and as it recovered from shock I leapt at its neck. I missed though, due to it sharply turning. It leapt off the branch, being the dumb bird it was, and tried to fly. I jumped on its back, my weight forcing it to the ground. The other cats only stared in astonishment.

_I didn't want your help anyways, thanks._ I thought irritably as I clamped my jaws on its neck. It fluttered once, twice. Then it feel to the ground as I braced myself. As soon as we landed I jumped off its back and stared icily at the other cats.

"Thanks for your help, not like I needed anyways." I grabbed hold of a wing and dragged it away from the five cats, now ignoring my other prey the hawk only half ate. About half way back to the cave I heard a rustle, and immediately I dropped the wing and bristled, my jaw locked into a fearsome snarl.

"I was just wondering if you wanted help. If I offer in front of them they'll think I like you or something." Hunter muttered as he quietly crept up to the hawk. I let my hackles fall, and I stopped snarling.

"Thought you were that mouse-brain." I muttered as I picked up one of the wings.

"Which?"

"Any of them, really." I mumbled through the feathers. I coughed slightly as the mouthful of feathers tickled my throat. "Lion will cause trouble, though. I'm smart enough to realize that even this early."

"Exactly why most cats believed she was the killer, and obviously friends help friends so because of her bad reputation we all got thrown in a prison cave." I stayed silent for a while, something creeping up on me. _Do I have friends? No, I don't have friends!_ I argued in my head, though in the corner of my mind I heard a little voice whispering, _then why have you been talking to Hunter? Even for a moment, anyways. And why did you stand up for him when he was at a loss for words?_

_Because I promised I'd protect him if he stands up for me,_ I argued though the thought never completely left me.

_You don't care about any other promises you've made,_ the voice pointed out as I kept dragging the hawk along. It was much heavier than I expected, it was much easier to kill really.

_Shut up, mind. I don't have friends! _

_If you insist._ Of course I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't- can't- won't be friends with anybody. I won't let silly little 'friendship' get in the way of how strong I can be without it. Friendship makes cats betray others, that's never a good thing unless it's for my _own_ reasons. If I don't have any responsibilities for any other cats, they won't have any for me and I can go about being the strongest cat possible.

_But does it make you happy to be alone?_

_Doesn't matter._

_Why must there always be these internal conflicts, they're getting annoying…._

_And they're getting closer to the truth._

_There is no truth I'm looking for!_

_But there is a truth you need to know, the truth that even though you pretend you don't need others, you do. You hate being lonely, alone, rejected, but you cover it up in anger. Let others come closer to you, you'll be a lot happier._

_I don't need others! _I yelled at my mind in my head more forcefully than before.

_You stupid, proud fool. _I could imagine a ghostly version of me shaking her head disapprovingly.

I don't need friend. I don't. I can't. I won't.

**Okay, so, next chapter there will be a bit more internal conflict... As in a lot. I've already started a little bit on it, and I'm rather pleased with it so far. Anywho, thanks for reading and please review. **

**~Ashthief**


	6. My Own Plan

**Hi! This is the what... the sixth chapter I believe? It feels like this story is taking FOREVER to write :/ Maybe it's just because I wrote The Elementals so freaking fast... who knows? Thanks for the two reviews last chapter, love you guys :) As people, keep in mind I mean as people...**

**~Review replies~**

**Lunarsparks- Nice word xD I don't believe that had crossed my mind as a word not usually used... Divine would be another lesser-used word :3 Yeah idk if the internal conflicts feel like they're getting kind of old... But I like writing about them so... yeah they're staying xD Haha idk if the last statement was a typo, but you just mixed two kind of unused words into one xD **

**Fluffball569- Yeah Synndra does kind of need a friend... but should I let her tough exterior be broken or not? That unanswered question is why I haven't exactly made her 'weak,' as she puts it. Your review made me laugh XD She really does need to let it go... but she's not willing yet. Well, in this chapter she does soften up a bit :) For an hour or two, anyways... And she'd probably kill you before she kisses dark o. O She thinks very, very little of him lol**

**Thanks for the reviews last chapter, they are much appreciated and once again I shall say I love you guys :3 Again, as people.**

**And now back to the story instead of my rambling... if it can be considered that. Anywho, enjoy!**

Chapter 6: My Own Plan

It was the night of that same day, and I was annoyed as ever. The dark blue tabby tom decided that my nice large nest was his too, and once again his paws were rested on my shoulder. I let out a heated growl, and to my surprise he woke up.

"What's wrong?" He tried to stifle a yawn, but it made it sound even weirder.

"Your claws keep pricking my shoulder." I snapped as I shuffled away from him, but I was just met by a cold stone wall.

"Hypocrite," he murmured almost teasingly as I twisted my head around to glare at him. My icy blue eyes narrowed, just to give me that intimidating appearance I suppose.

"How so?" I snapped as my fur bristled.

"You scorned Lion for whining at a little scratch, and here you are growling at me because I don't sit still when I sleep."

"You don't sit when you sleep." I muttered, completely ignoring the explanation except for that one part.

"You know what I mean." He muttered as he turned away from me. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I surprised myself when I replied. _I _am _growing soft,_ I thought dejectedly as I closed my eyes. But to my annoyance, as I nearly fell asleep, I felt claws prick my shoulder again. "For goodness' sake, Hunter!" But to my surprise it wasn't the dark blue tabby, but the black tom with red forepaws that I managed to get away from me a few days ago.

"What do you want?" I growled as he sat down. _My nest,_ I thought somewhat protectively, and greedily, as he spoke.

"All the other cats over there won't let me sleep, can I sleep over here?" My first instinct screamed no! Absolutely not, that's your problem not mine! "I mean, you built a nest big enough for five cats," he muttered quietly as he glanced at his paws.

"Fine, I just down want _you_ pricking me with your filthy claws either." I felt his fur brush mine as he settled down in the soft mossy nest, and I fought the urge to fly at him with unsheathed claws. _Before I know it I'll have everyone in this cave over in _my _nest._ I thought with irritability.

^.^.^.^.^.^

"Where did he come from?" a question followed after a paw prodding me in the shoulder. Hunter. Again. _It's too early to be annoyed,_ I thought as sharp annoyance pricked me while I pushed myself into a sitting position.

"Who now?" I mumbled as if I was too groggy to understand what he was saying. As I said earlier, playing dumb works more than it should these days.

"Dark's son." Hunter muttered as his glare settled on the still-sleeping black tom with fiery red forepaws.

"I didn't know Dark was capable of being any sort of fatherly figure." I murmured as I swiftly groomed my fur down.

"Oh he's not, but he thinks promoting his son to one of the top warriors here is all he owes to Shadow." Hunter drew his tongue over his short dark blue tabby fur after explaining. _So that's his name, Shadow._

"Not a very original name." I pointed out as a smirk danced on my face.

"You might not want to say that around him. Dark can exile any cat he wants." Hunter warned in a low voice as his eyes darted around nervously.

"As if he'd exile me, again." I scoffed, rolling my bright blue eyes. "Dark knows he can't control me, unless he's the complete mouse-brain I know he is and continues to think I can be softened or whatever."

"You don't believe in cats changing?" Hunter questioned as his dark blue head tilted ever so slightly to the right.

"I guess a smart cat can turn into an idiot, or viceversa, but I can't be tamed. I won't." I held my head proudly as my gaze swept across the cave icily.

"I think you can change," he whispered softly as a chilling breeze swept through the cave. I nearly didn't catch his words, their message was nearly lost in the wind. Almost gone with the wind.

"Maybe if I wanted to." I snapped as my muscles tensed, my fur bristled, as my eyes narrowed into a hateful glare. _I won't change!_ "There's nothing that needs to change. There's no flaw to correct."

"Come on, Synndra." He gazed at me hopefully, dark blue eyes gleaming hopefully; a scary light dancing in them. "Stop hiding behind that difficult mask and be the cat you are when nobody is looking."

"Why should I listen to a complete stranger?" I growled as my neck fur fluffed up. _I am who I am, only to you I am imperfect. Only to myself I know I have flaws, I know I am hurting. I know I'm craving something more than respect._

"Because no one else cares, so who else is there that will listen?" His tail gave a single sweep, barely skimming the floor of the cave as it nearly brushed the soft moss.

"You make it sound like it's so simple to just… change." I muttered as my head dropped a little lower. _He knows my weakness. He knows I'm not as tough as I try to make it out as. No he doesn't, he doesn't know a thing about me. Nothing at all._

"You just have to put in some effort and actually _try_ to change." He answered as his dark blue eyes locked with mine. But falling back on my old habits, I instantly broke it and suddenly found my paws very intriguing.

"Leave me alone." I growled as I got to my paws and slipped out of the cave. _Why can't they just leave me alone? I didn't ask to always be hurting, to always be so desperate for any attention I become that cat everybody unites against to hate. And then because they hate me I can then distance myself, but I keep hurting._

In a somewhat idle fashion, I just walked. I wandered around, sat by the river, raced up a tree. But I'm still not happy. My misery was like a never ending cycle, always keeping me in the worst of moods. _What kind of cat would I be like if I wasn't always this… awful? I'm not an idiot, I know I try to be the meanest cat in the whole cave._

_You could _try _to be likable,_ a scathing voice in the back of my mind pointed out. _No, that's just not who I am anymore._

Accidentally I slipped into a small brook, but I didn't panic. With confident movements, I broke onto the surface in a matter of seconds. I breathed deeply and forced my heart to slow down, it only scares me even more so. I may not be scared of 'intimidating' cats, but I fear other things. I am deathly scared of drowning, but same as the heights I force it down so far I don't even remember sometimes.

I clambered up onto the slippery bank, and I unsheathed my claws to get a better grip as my slippery paws interfered with my attempts to pull myself out. But I kept slipping back down into the water, my heart beating harder every time I found I couldn't find any air.

"Need any help?" A smooth voice asked as another attempt failed. I instantly stopped my struggles and tread the water, my eyes quickly finding Shadow's muscular form. Almost too fast.

"I can help myself, thanks. I don't need you to steal my nest _and_ my pride." There's one difference between a proud me and the proud toms. I'll openly tell someone I don't need their help in order to save my precious pride, while the toms will 'hide' it and insist they can do it themselves because they're them. Typical of everybody else, mostly because they're mouse-brains.

"You and your pride." He muttered as his dark blue eyes rolled to the left.

"At least I don't 'hide' the fact I value it more than help, unlike you toms." I spat icily as I managed to grasp a drier spot on the bank, hauling myself onto dry land.

"You're judging me based on most others?" He inquired as I pointedly shook out my fur, splattering him with warm drops of water.

"Oh I've met you for a few minutes or hours, I've got you all figured out by now." I sat down, curled my wet tail over my paws, and stared at him challengingly as he too shook out his fur that was now wet, due to my carelessness.

"Oh really?" He asked coldly, a challenge hidden within the simple question.

"Do you want the long explanation or the short?" I asked as my icy blue eyes scanned the rest of my surroundings, I'm always on guard. Even though I guess I'm only formerly a rogue, I still have the same instant reactions and instincts as one.

"We have as long as you think you need." He answered coolly, his head raised slightly as to indicate he was challenging me. _He thinks I only know something about him that can fit into a sentence or two, he's got another thing coming if I'm correct. Of which I know I am, despite the thoughts most cats would have._

"You are over-friendly because you are insecure, I know that because you shuffle your forepaws anytime anybody is around, and your father doesn't care. Therefore you do not know your position, in which makes you insecure." He just blinked in something like astonishment, he was taken aback. "Is there nobody that doesn't look down on me or underestimate me?" I snapped as he blankly stared at me. I was going to elaborate some more, but I cut it short to make it to where he was left speechless.

"Oh there's the rogue," I heard an unenthusiastic murmur as paws thumped the ground heavily. As if he was dragging them dejectedly.

"Ah, there's the old cat who broke his legs jumping off the ledge. I was wondering if you died. More like hoping, really." I got to my paws and faced Streak as his fur bristled, as he came to a halt.

"I'm not old yet!" He spat in my face as his tail lashed several times. I wrinkled my nose in disgust and shook my head to rid myself of his spit.

"Either tell me why you even bothered finding me, or let me drown you in the river."

"Charming. I can see why he is so in love with you." My interest was instantly captured as my bewilderment and curiosity took the better of me.

"Who is it you mean?" I barked sharply as my fur bristled at the thought. _I've been trying to push others away, yet one has supposedly fallen in love with me not but a month after I was captured. How have my attempts to get others away actually do the opposite?_

"Have I got your attention now?" Streak shot back as his yellow eyes gleamed in triumph.

"No, I'm not listening whatsoever." I countered as I waved my tail in farewell, padding away from the white tom I hate and forever will hate.

"I have a message from Dark!" He called after me as I strode away with my head held high in the arrogant fashion it usually is.

"Then tell me." I shot back as I darted up a tree. Leaving Dark's son behind, I nearly forgot he existed; Streak dashed after me. As he nearly caught my tail in his grasp, I darted into the next tree with ease, my muscles rippling smoothly.

"What do you think you are, a squirrel?" He shouted as he attempted to follow me. I purred in amusement, the feeling odd in my throat as he leapt for the next branch, only to fall short by a mouse-length. I gave a light-hearted laugh, only to abruptly stop. _Was that me? Or was it Streak and it just sounded like it was coming from myself?_

But he surprised me, grappling his way up the tree almost as fast as I could. Not near as elegantly, but close in speed. I swiftly clawed my way up the tree, my eyes quickly scanning for another pathway. But he kept up, almost catching me one time.

Once I got to the top I gazed at the scene that lay before me. The bright orange glow of the sun was radiating over the land, layering the treetops in orange. Its beauty nearly took my breath away, it was truly beautiful.

But before Streak managed to get me, I leapt from the branch I was on onto another tree. He stared at me in astonishment, but he didn't speak as he caught his breath.

"You tired yet?" I called out when he managed to breathe less heavily, his sides only lightly heaving though his mouth hung open.

"How can you keep jumping?" He asked wearily as he joined me on the top branch of the next tree over. But I leapt away from him as his white fur slightly brushed my silvery fur striped with black. I don't want or need friends.

"Because I'm not a weakling like you." I answered lightly as I swiftly leapt onto another tree, a small branch piercing the skin on my right forepaw for a heartbeat. With an annoyed hiss I shook my paw and ignored my pain, waiting for Streak's answer.

"Where'd the other Synndra go?" he whined, almost pitifully. "The one that isn't the heartless, sarcastic, infuriating one standing before me."

"She doesn't exist." I growled as my fur fluffed up, though I felt like something else broke. _I want friends, yet I push the potential ones away. Why do I have to be so dang complicated?_ I dropped down the levels of the tree, and raced away from the white tom with the sad face.

"Wait! Synndra!" I didn't listen to Streak's demanding voice, I just swerved to the left and ended up falling into that cursed river. _Fishing is fun, but becoming a fish isn't so great,_ I thought to myself as I attempted to claw myself up the river bank again. _This wouldn't be a great fishing place anyways, the surface is much too low from the bank. The other river around the cave, that has the river the same level as the ground almost, it is absolutely perfect._

"Do you want help this time?" I found Streak leaning on a tree, his head still held proudly as his yellow eyes swept over the landscape surrounding him.

"Nope." My defiant reply was ruined as my head went under water at the end of the statement, my heart skipping a beat when I felt water flow over my head. Without any hesitation I broke the surface, breathed in deeply, and eventually I almost managed to haul myself out but something stirred in the water and I kicked at it. Therefore I lost my balance and fell into the water. Again.

"Am I going to wait for you to get out of that stupid pond all day?" Streak questioned as a smirk danced on his white face, yellow eyes gleaming.

"You're messing up my concentration," I muttered as I dug my claws the best I could into the damp, slimy mud that always ended up wriggling out of my grasp. Finally I hauled myself onto the ground, and at once shook the water dripping off my pelt out. But without thinking, I splattered Streak with the murky water.

"I hate water." He muttered grumpily as he licked his pelt dry. "I'm going to get you for that."

"You're too slow to even lay a claw on me." I countered as I drew myself up to my full height, my pelt glowing in the sun's radiance. Not a heartbeat after flashing me a mischevous look, he leapt at me and we both fell into the river. I didn't have any time to react, one heartbeat he was still, the next we were drenched in water.

"You idiot, you mouse-brained-" I was cut off as Streak forced me under the water, warm and almost sticky.

"Come on, Synndra. Lighten up." I used my tail to crossly splash him in the face with a few warm droplets of water, resulting in my face getting thrust under the water. I launched myself at him, and we wrestled in the water for a while. For half an hour or so, it felt good to just act like a lighthearted kit once in a while.

"We should probably get back." I murmured as I hauled myself onto the bank, first try this time, I added proudly.

"They can do without us." Streak waved his dripping tail casually, flicking me with a few drops in the process. I think he meant to.

"No… it was fun but… no," I tore myself away from the white tom and raced away, sprinting as fast as I could. When I finally slowed down I blinked a few times and brushed the memories away, ignoring my torn heart getting torn again. _It can't hurt to play one time in a whole year… can it?_

I hunted until sunhigh, and I managed to catch a decent amount of prey. I caught a squirrel, two mice, and three shrews. Padding back with a mouth laden with prey, I chose a shrew for myself and padded to my corner in the back of the smaller cave. Settling in my nest, I quickly gulped it down.

"I never gave you Dark's message." My ears flattened as I heard Streak's voice, this is what usually happens when I feel myself get even the slightest closer to _anybody._ I distance myself, ignore them, and move on. An endless cycle, never ending even if I try in the slightest to change it.

"I don't care what that mouse-brain wants, or you for that matter." I snapped as I turned away from him, my scathing comment making guilt tap on my shoulder.

"Dark _needs _to talk to you," he told me more forcefully, his ear twitching. I twisted my head around to glare at him, only to re-live the memory of Streak charging into the clearing to tell me he has a message, only to later reveal someone likes me. _I'm still somewhat curious,_ I admitted to myself. _No, he's probably just trying to play with my head. He's just wanting me to ask so he can have the joy of withholding the information._

"I'll only go if you tell me who you were referring to earlier." I tested the waters, wondering if he'd give in.

"What?" He tilted his head in fake confusion, but his eyes were clear. He knew what I was talking about, the cheeky furball.

"Earlier you said someone likes me, I don't know if you were just trying to get my attention or what, but I need to know." My determined icy blue eyes locked with his pale yellow ones.

"Oh, it was just a rumor." He flicked his tail casually, but I decided to delve further into the secret.

"Tell me." I demanded with a growl.

"How about… no." He paused for a second, before opening his mouth to speak again. "Dark wants to train you how to kill when fighting."

"Are there intruders?" I asked with slight alarm, wondering why else he would even offer to train me as a killer if not from intruders.

"I don't know, I'm not one of the top cats around here," he murmured, his eyes studying the ground intently.

"Fine, I'll see what the furball who thinks he rules the world wants today." I got to my paws and padded stiffly to Dark's den. I didn't even bother calling out, I just strode into the dark cave as if I owned it. _I kind of am a somewhat of a hypocrite, I judge Dark for thinking he owns the world when I'm not the most modest cat ever._

"Ah, Synndra. I see Streak finally gave you the message." Dark muttered something under his breath, most likely something other than complimentary.

"I listened when I wanted to." I told him stiffly as I saw a rustle in the back corner of the dark lair. "Is that your, what, fourth mate by now?" I sneered as I scented she was a she-cat, I could even make out tabby stripes in the dark.

"She er…. I don't have to justify anything to you." He snapped lamely, I guess he ran out of other comebacks. Or he just can't make up any to save his life, one or the other. I'm thinking the second one is more true, but I'm not a mind-reader so it's not my place to know for sure.

"I see you want your so called legacy to stay within this… group." I commented as I saw Shadow chatting with Rock, a dark gray tom.

"I didn't bring you here to talk about my life," he tried to steer me away from his flaws, but they'll never leave me completely. "I think it'd be beneficial to the group to have an inner circle of warriors that can protect like no others, and-"

"I see the others are about to lay siege." I commented loud enough for him to be embarrassed, to the point where others would freak out and then it'd be his problem.

"How did you know?" He rasped in a low whisper, glancing around fretfully as some cats gazed questioningly in our direction. Others had heard.

"Wait, I actually didn't just make something off the top of my head?" My eyes studied the leader sharply, wondering how he'd answer. "I am a complete genius."

"I-I was testing you to see if you'd make a… good…" his voice trailed off awkwardly, "spy! A spy, yes a spy."

"I think I'm not the only one who makes things off the top of my head," I hinted, a smirk playing my face.

"The other rogues have more cats than us, and-"

"We have how many cats in all?" I asked as my gaze swept through the cave. I'd estimate around sixty, somewhere around there.

"Eighty." He answered proudly, his chest puffed up in pride.

"And they have how many and you know how?" I asked as my eyes furrowed into a narrowed gaze, a strategy already forming in my mind without the complete information.

"They have somewhere around a hundred cats, and I know because I sent a spy." He bit his lip in nervousness, I guess he doesn't confide in many. "He went back to find out extra information, but he never returned."

"His name?"

"Snarl. He was a light gray tom with white-"

"-ears, paws, and tail. Yeah, he fled." I told him with confidence.

"You know this how?" Dark demanded, his tail waving excitedly.

"He helped me a while ago when I was injured. Like… a month or two ago before I joined." The black tom with brown forepaws started pacing worriedly, his tail lashing.

"He turned rogue." I added as his black fur started to bristle.

"Well, I've had a tip that they're planning to attack. They say twenty of their cats were queens nursing kits, just like us." His tail stopped lashing for a second or two, but then it started lashing in agitation again. "And they have some thing about cats with white fur, or any white markings. They think it's… impure, or whatever they think."

"Wow, they're stupider than you guys. How'd that happen?" I scoffed, my eyes glittering triumphantly as Dark only glared.

"We need at least thirty cats at all times to know how to kill swiftly and efficiently. You were my first choice."

"You said I was going to be a spy, make up your crazy mind," I muttered under my breath, my ears twitching.

"Yes, but they aren't the dumbest cats. If they figure out you're exactly what you are, you'll need the skills to get out. Now-"

"You still think I'm not good enough, eh?" I remarked dryly, my blue eyes blazing with fury and exasperation. "Will you stuck-up toms ever realize a she-cat can be as good if not better than you ego-obsessed cats?"

"You don't know them, they will kill you if they-"

"Figure out I'm smarter than them, blah blah blah." I heard a faint snicker from the corner where that she-cat cowered, and after a stern glare from her leader she shrunk even smaller. She may as well have been a mouse. "I see they underestimate she-cats too, huh?"

"You'll need to train before you depart to go spy, they live a quarter of a day's journey past that river that you fail to escape." My fur prickled slightly in embarrassment, but I brushed it off. _I don't care he knows I'm not… exactly perfect._ I just nodded curtly, and attempted to get out of the cave with my own plan bubbling in my mind. _If he thinks I'll stick to his plan that is sure to fail, he's going to have a big surprise when I turn up alive._

**Thanks for reading as always! The whole spying idea just randomly appeared... I honestly have no idea where it came from. Anyways... I'm thinking of not updating ****_at all_**** during the week. I think I'm just going to write during the week, but not actually update. I'll actually put all the chapters up say... one to two chapters on Saturday, and hopefully one on Sunday. I'm just experimenting... who knows. Anywho, if you could just take a few moments of your life to tell me how the story/chapter(s) were, it would be greatly appreciated :)**

**Also, one more thing then you can continue your day/night, whenever you are reading. I don't really like the summary, and I've tried making up a few ideas but I still hate it... anybody got any ideas? I know it's not that long yet, but could anybody help me out? You can PM me or leave it in a review, either way it'd be a big help. Thanks!**

**~Ashthief **


	7. Anything At All

**Hi! Last chapter was longer than usual by 1,500 words, so I haven't worked too much on this one yet i; Sorry guys, but I said I'd update Saturday, of which I did, and hopefully Sunday... so here's a partial part of the chapter. I'll add to it when I finish it, but I thought it'd be nice to just go ahead and put the first half out there... so yeah.**

**~Review replies~**

**Grayfur of WindClan- Yeah she was being sarcastic, I can't really see him being much of a fatherly figure of any sort. **

**Foreststar of WindClan- Thank you so much for the summary idea :D I liked it, I really did. And actually it was a bit short but oh well xD I'll add on later if I get bored or whatever, but thank you so much for the idea, I ended up using it :3**

**Thanks for the 2 reviews received, and on with the chapter! (Or at least the first half of it)**

Chapter 7: Anything At All

It was half a moon later after the 'ruthless' training sessions Dark held. He said they were tough and hard, but I really didn't have to put too much effort into it. Halfway through I think _I _was the teacher, sadly enough. Nineteen other cats were sitting beside me in Dark's lair, or at least that's what most cats called it.

Most of the other cats for the special special group learning how not to fight, but to kill. And as expected, most were from the other special warriors' group. But around half were from the not-so-average warriors who should be in the group I belong to, but they don't.

"Spies shall be sent out, three cats at a time." Dark was explaining as most cats looked around the cave; most hadn't been there before. "Synndra, Shadow, and Fang will be in the first group. Find out when they plan to strike, find out their weakness, and escape as soon as possible. A moon after the other groups arrives, you may leave." I nodded, as did Dark's son who sat beside me on my right, as did the other tom, Fang, a light gray tabby with black patches on his fur.

"You three will leave tomorrow morning, and I trust you know your backstory?" Dark stated it as a question, but it was obviously answered as yes. As if on a cue, the three of us nodded and with a flick of his tail he dismissed us.

"Strike, Water, and Snow, you…." I left in my usual strut, head held high with calm, icy blue eyes. Nothing too eventful had happened in the last half moon, what could have? I've managed to keep my distance from Streak, but then Hunter started following me wherever I went again. I don't know what his problem is, I guess he's just overly-insecure.

"Do you want to go hunting?" Shadow asked in a soft voice as I was padding back to my nest. His ear twitched hesitantly, he's knows once you speak to me you may not escape with both ears intact.

"Nope, how about you find some other pretty she-cat that thinks you're just the greatest thing ever." I suggested dryly as I kept walking one step ahead of him.

"Nobody thinks that, I'm not one of the more talented cats." He muttered, and as he tried to catch up to me I sped up my pace, my paws hitting the floor rhythmically.

"Hey, what's your name?" I called to some random tortoiseshell she-cat with pale green eyes. She was giggling immaturely with three other she-cats, sneaking glances at Shadow and I.

"Sky." She answered as her green eyes landed on Shadow, who had halted beside me at my shoulder. I just let out a soft growl, letting him know I didn't want him anywhere near me, and continued my little plan that formed in my mind at an amazing speed.

"Well, Sky, would you like to hunt with Shadow? You know, Dark's son. I'm much too tired and maybe you could even bring a friend?" Instantly she nodded, pale green eyes eager as they gazed at Shadow all sappily. I smirked at his shocked face, and waved my tail in farewell.

"Told you," I muttered under my breath as I strode away from the black tom. I felt his glare on my back, but I ignored it. Oh, the fun I get to have toying with all these cats' minds. Maybe living with others isn't too bad, since I can annoy them all I want yet I'll never be punished since I'm me.

I _was _going to go to sleep early, since we are going to leave early in the morning, but after a few minutes of laying in my nest I was still wide awake. After blinking my icy blue eyes, I got to my paws and silently slipped out of the cave. A soft, cooling breeze swept through my fur as I placed a paw outside of the damp, cold cave. Even in greenleaf, the warmest season in the year, the cave still continued to be cold and damp with water.

"Synndra, wait up!" I whipped my head around, expecting the dark blue tabby. Hunter had grown into a fitter warrior, his pelt no longer torn and ragged. Now it was sleek and shiny, and his muscles had gradually returned from the plentiful prey. His striking blue eyes, no longer dull in color.

But instead of Hunter, it was Streak shouting at me. I ignored him and went my own way, into the forest. But his thudding paws didn't stop, and right before he caught up to me I whipped around and gave a hostile growl. He leapt back as I startled him while he inhaled sharply, his fur fluffing out in surprise.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" I growled as my fur bristled, my blue eyes glowering at the white tom. I've been struggling this last half moon with myself, let him in or keep him out? I want a friend so badly, it's nearly become a need. But should I listen to my heart or my head? All my life I've listened to my head, but is there an appropriate time to listen to my heart? Or is it all in my head and I'm just thinking nonsense? Always this inner struggle… always and forever.

"Come on, Synndra. You know you don't want to be left alone. Oddly enough, I know you want the exact opposite, I think."

"You know I want the opposite you think. Interesting choice of words." I ignored the message and just focused on the incorrect part of it. It's just the easiest way to avoid anything, anything at all.

"Why are you hiding? I know there's a real you hiding behind that tough exterior. You need friends, cats to talk to, cats to trust like we all do." His yellow eyes hardened as he continued his speech. "Let me be one of those cats you can trust."

"Why should I trust you?" I asked quietly, suddenly feeling as if my old self was slipping away. _Should I really give in? I thought I like the way I am… or am I fooling my own self? Maybe I like the way I am, maybe I like how defensive and hard to get to know I am, but maybe I don't like how I don't have any friends. If I was killed in this spy mission Dark would miss my hunting and fighting skills, not me. Hunter would miss having someone to hunt for him, Streak would miss having someone to annoy, and… wow… a month and a half after I'm captured and I know two cats. Depressing. I am depressing._

"Because I'm the only one who has asked for your friendship." _No, I can't be weak. All friendship does is make you weak… or does it really? Can friendship actually be right? Can it not be wrong?_

"I'll… think about it," I murmured as I ducked my head, losing my air of confidence for once. I studied the floor of the stone cave, gradually flattening my ears against my head. I felt Streak's gaze scorching me, but I ignored it. "Why are you only starting to care now? You've hated me from the start as I've hated you."

"Long story short, my mother's murderer was a silver-furred she-cat who looks like you." His eyes seemed to lose focus, then they were suddenly filled with terror. I suppose he was reliving a memory, and judging by the true terror filling his yellow eyes he had witnessed the murder firsthand.

_I never realized there might possibly be others who have sad backstories…. Everyone just always seems to be happy and la-di-dah insane. I have yet to meet a cat who is as bitter as me, and due to that I guessed no one else has had that bad of a thing happen to them._

"W-what was her name?" I asked tentatively, careful to not upset him.

"Silver. Not too original, huh?" He flicked an ear as to get rid of the terrifying memories, but his face still looked scared and hunted, as if any moment he was going to be snatched away.

_My aunt killed Streak's mother… since when did she turn rogue? She did disappear, but mom said she'd be back. But I never did see her later, did she? How many others lies have I been oblivious to?_

As these thoughts and many more flew through my head, I just stood there, gazing at nothing like some idiot. My limbs were numb with shock, my icy blue eyes distant as I abruptly shook out my fur.

"Synndra? You there?" Streak's yellow eyes were gazing at me with concern, something I don't want from anyone. It has the same concept as pity, the weak cats manipulate cats using pity while cats like me will just not want to be anywhere around it.

"Nope, you see nothing and no one," I retorted out of habit. It's almost scary now, any word that is said to me I come up with some hurtful comeback. As I said, it's _almost_ scary. Now that I'm reflecting, any word ever said anywhere near me I have responded to with a scathing retort. Yet Streak and Hunter continue to pursue me. I have a feeling both will follow me until my death… that could be one way to escape everything. _I've got to explore that idea…. I'll be mourned and cared for while I flee. Perfect. And if anyone asks who I am, I can merely say I'm my daughter, if that makes any sense._

"You're leaving tomorrow, can you please leave on good terms with me?" Indignant outrage shot through me, and I struggled to push it down. _Why should I do anything for him? I owe him nothing! He's not even a friend, and I've been avoiding him for a while! It actually happened to be working too…._

"Why would I? I owe you nothing," I muttered as my eyes darted to the grass growing beneath my paws.

"I'm not asking because I think you owe me something." He pointed out as he attempted to make eye contact, but I refused to. "I'm asking because you could _die_ on that spying mission."

"Why do you care?" I growled though I knew very well why. He apparently wants a friend, instead of a bodyguard like what I am to Hunter.

"Synndra, I know you're smart enough to have figured that out long ago." He flicked his tail uneasily as my ears flattened while my muscles tensed.

"You don't know me." I meowed as my icy blue eyes narrowed, and I abruptly turned my back and walked away from him. To my surprise, he didn't follow me. I quickly raced up a tree to lose anybody that would try to pursue me, sometimes I just need to reflect.

You could die… could I really? I've always felt something like I'm immortal, no one can touch me in battle when I'm trying. I want to at least have a cat to miss me if I die, but… no. I don't need friends. Every time I have this conversation with myself I convince myself less and less my answer is right.

The sun was slipping off this picture into another, half of the glowing orange and gold peeping above the horizon. A cool breeze softly tugged as my fur as I breathed in the rich forest scents, prey, trees, leaves, grass. My eyes scanned the landscape the lay before me, in a soft silence playing in my head. A lonely owl hooted off in the distance, its sound twirling through the air like a ribbon in the dark.

I closed my eyes and rested my head on my paws, laying still on the rough tree bark. The cool, fresh air felt good on my bright silver fur, ruffling it gently as the sun's radiant glow dipped beneath the horizon. I could nearly taste the closeness of leafbare riding the wind, a nip in the air as I drifted off to sleep.

^.^.^.^.^.^.^

"Synndra!" A voice called, waking me up as I opened my eyes quickly. I'm always on guard, even if I'm half asleep. I did manage to pin Streak down in a matter of seconds after he merely startled me, after all.

"What Shadow?" I questioned grumpily as I yawned, stretching as good as I could on the thick branch I lay on. My soft fur scraped the rough bark, but I ignored it, waiting for the black tom's answer.

"We're leaving for the other group, remember?" The memories flew back but I just gazed at him blankly. It's one way to buy time if you want to sit still a little bit longer, of which I did right now. The warmth wreathing around me caused my body to feel drowsy again, my mind blurring into fuzz.

"If you insist," I sighed, swiftly dropping down the tree. I 'accidentally' landed on Shadow's back, flattening him to the cracked earth. "Sorry, I didn't see you there." I sarcastically remarked as I merely shook out my fur after stepping away from him. Fang, the light gray tabby tom that was also spying with us, looked at me with amusement dancing in his forest-green eyes.

"What are you looking at, failure in life?" I snapped as his whiskers twitched. He had better not be thinking I'm annoying him because I like him or something…. Yeah, I listen to other she-cat's talk when I get bored out of my mind. They say cats get grumpier in order to hide their feelings while I'm defensive and rude twenty-four seven.

"Look who's talking, rogue." Fang snarled back as his green eyes turned hostile in a flash. His claws slid out swiftly, he sure is one to get upset quickly.

"Look who's the traitor, Fang." I countered as I too snarled, my lips drawing back to reveal sharp, dagger-like teeth.

"Guys, stop!" Shadow shouted, though his dark blue eyes stayed calm. "We'll never make it there if we keep arguing."

"You think I'm just going to back down because the almighty Dark's son told me to? You don't know me if you think I will, mouse-brain." My icy blue eyes also remained calm, though an unstoppable fury lay in the hidden depths of myself.

"Can't you just cooperate for a day? Just one?" Shadow almost pleaded, distress now shining in his eyes.

"How about… no. I don't obey others because they think I should." I brushed past him, heading in the general direction of which Dark said their camp was. I heard two exasperated sighs, as if on cue.

I led them because they were smart enough to stay back, though technically Shadow was the leader. He has poor leader skills, really.

"The Darkness' camp is up ahead." I warned in a low voice after dropping down in the blink of an eye. Shadow and Fang quickly dropped beside me, and I slightly opened my mouth to find foreign scents greet me. Just a few fox-lengths ahead were about four or five cats prowling around, looking for prey I suppose.

"You can't handle cats, let me do the talking," Shadow hissed at me before slipping out from behind the bush we were concealed in. But before the others could lay eyes on him, I dragged him back into the prickly bush.

"They'll know we're from their enemies," I snapped as he looked at me with a bewildered gaze. Embarrassment flooded his eyes, and after rolling my own I slipped into a warm pond that lay to the left of us. Fang and Shadow looked at me as if I just killed someone, as if I was out of my mind.

"It's not poisoned water, mouse-brains. Water won't kill you, unless you drown." They both just gazed at me blankly, dark blue eyes and dark green eyes completely blank. Without warning I launched myself at them both, one of my paws latched onto one of the other's. With my claws out, I dragged them both into the water. They both didn't make a sound, they were just too shocked and when they were about to I forced their heads underwater, muffling their cries.

"You're going to get us in trouble, mouse-brains." I hissed after letting them stand. We made our way out of the pond, licked our fur clean, and found a different patrol.

"I smell cats." I hear a squeak announce. Are they training kits? How desperate. Shadow stepped forward, but as I flashed my claws he shot me a warning glance. I can handle cats better than you, thanks. I don't grovel and beg and whine, I act like the tough warrior I am.

"You can't-" an angry, deeper voice was cut off by some other cat, a she-cat judging by the lighter tone.

"Who are you?" A half friendly, half hostile voice asked Shadow as he stepped forward. The she-cat was a light brown tabby with black paws and pale blue eyes.

"I am Shadow, and this is-"

"I can introduce myself when I want to, thanks." I cut him off as I raised my challenging gaze to his annoyed dark blue eyes.

"We have heard of your group from a few others strays, and we wish to join." Shadow didn't look like he had full authority anymore, his eyes suddenly nervous. Mouse-brain, they'll notice it and respect you less.

"Should we take him to Light or what?" The kitten squeaked. His small dark brown head barely reached the third quarter of my leg. It was almost pitiful; his pale green eyes were dull with exhaustion while his black-ringed tail was quivering with exhaustion.

"You don't make the decisions around here," the tom, a dark gray tabby, snapped at the poor little kitten. As his claws unsheathed, an unfamiliar feeling surged through my blood, and before his claws could touch one hair on that innocent kit's fur I pinned him down.

"Don't you ever touch one hair on a defenseless kitten's pelt, you heartless cat." I slashed my claws on his cheek, blood welling up from where I swiped at him. "You are disgusting."

"Synndra, we didn't come here to fight," Shadow snarled as he thrust me off the disgusting bundle of fur. I dodged but I got off him anyways. He glared at me, nearly making my fur scorch with the hate rolling off of him.

The little ball of fluff was by himself, quivering as if he was hit anyways. The dark gray tom stalked up to the kit, snarling. I pinned him down again, this time threatening him.

"You think my threats are empty, fox-dung?" I snarled as once again I stepped away from him. Shadow, Fang, and the she-cat were staring at me in awe, astonishment, and even maybe a little bit of fear.

I stood in front of the quivering ball of fluff protectively, my teeth bared fiercely.

"Thank you." He nearly whispered quietly, though he still shook.

"We are definitely taking you to Light." The she-cat told me, ignoring the other two. "We need more fighters like you." I feel like I've been here before… or wait I have, only with Dark.

"Those two are coming as well," I didn't ask if they could, I simply demanded it. She nodded and led us back. The despicable tom had enough sense to stay away from me and my fury, lagging behind the others.

I don't know how exactly this will work out, but I do know this kit will not have one more hair on his pelt hurt.

"Stick close to me…" I trailed off as I was murmuring the the little tom walking next to me.

"...Cyclone." he finished for me, gazing at me with hopeful pale green eyes. I just nodded and continued walking behind the others. A feeling I dreaded seeped into me; affection. I felt sympathy and pity, but most of all I felt warmth towards the tough little kit. He couldn't be more than two or three moons, the poor scrap of fur. I don't know you, anything about you, I'm not even related to you, but I will protect you until my last breath, Cyclone.

**I think it's kind of funny how I just come up with these things off the top of my head... I honestly didn't mean to add Cyclone in there but yeah :3 Aww Synndra is actually liking someone... I just hate her frozen nature so I made her soften up for a little bit. But I don't know if it'll stay like that. It seems so far the second she softens up is the second she becomes all detached again, you know? Like with Streak, they played for a little and she softened up but then she distanced herself... badly.**

**Also, I read a TON of other fanficitons to get new ideas and such, and a few do like question of the day type thing so I just want to try it out because... I can. I guess? Idk, we'll see how it goes.**

**Question of the day- Which pair do you like best? Honestly I can't pick so I'd just like to see what you guys think: SynndraxShadow, SynndraxStreak, or SynndraxHunter? I may or may not actually agree or go with the suggestions (just a warning xD) but I'm just kind of curious...**

**Anywho, thanks for reading and reviews are greatly appreciated :) **

**~Ashthief**


	8. Distractions

**THIS IS IMPORTANT AND YOU'D BETTER NOT SKIP THIS- I UPDATED LAST CHAPTER SO READ IT BEFORE THIS, K? GO!**

**Now that that's out of the way, thank you guys for the reviews :) A whole six reviews in one chapter woot! **

**Foreststar of WinClan- Aww thanks :3 I did actually keep your summary but I changed it when I came up with a better one 2 o'clock in the morning... I have trouble sleeping i;**

**Lunarsparks- Hmm didn't think of that word XD Yeah I'm hoping it'll be a good idea and not some random horrible thing that will destroy the story... Gosh aren't I a happy bundle of joy? xD Anxiety attacks destroy my happiness for a day, but I'll be happier tomorrow hopefully x: I understand I wouldn't want spoilers either xD Once again thanks for reviewing, I really do appreciate having you as one of my readers and continuous reviewer :)**

**Fluffball569- You're great. Just great. Your reviews always make me smile and laugh and then my mom is like- what's so funny? She doesn't have any friends but... she has a kit to look after now... better than nobody xD **

**Frostdawn- When I read your review I could imagine like a five year old saying that in the most immature voice ever XDDD Not saying you're immature lol just the first thought that came to mind. Ugh I know I can't apologize enough it breaks my heart and I hate myself for ending the Elementals but my writing was terrible :( If I let you come up with a plot that I write on will you forgive me? x; Maybe? (And btw I'm serious xD I feel absolutely awful)**

**Guest- Ugh I know I've been trying but I was grounded from typing due to the fact I had put off my homework for two months now... I tried to finish asap x; Once again, sorry!**

**Fire- Thank you ^.^ I love it when people love this story, it makes me feel like a good writer :D**

**Thank you for the five reviews, you guys are awesome and I'm sure you know it, and here goes the... what... eighth chapter? Sorry I'm too lazy to scroll down to check xD Anyways, enjoy :)**

**And by the way, there is some very important info at the bottom author's note so READ IT OR YOU DIEEEEE... Synndra shall find you. Lol I hope none of you reading this are a paranoid person XD But seriously, if you are, oops... sorry x;**

**Now, read on for real! And enjoy :3**

Chapter 8: Distractions

In only a few minutes we arrived at the Darkness' camp. When we arrived I saw no cats, and I hesitated to follow the she-cat, distrusting her.

"Where are your cats?" Fang asked, echoing my thoughts.

"In the trees, smart huh?" Triumph glowed in Bird's eyes; we found out her name after Shadow asked.

"I don't envy the cats that fall out," I snorted sarcastically, perfectly picturing darkness as a cat fell out of the tree, death the instant the cat hit the ground.

"We don't fall out, mouse-brain." The dark gray tom snapped as his furious yellow eyes glared at me. I ever so slightly shivered, they look like Streak's the first day I met him. _Get him out of your mind, mouse-brain. You have a mission!_

"Up here." the she-cat darted up a tree, and the dark gray tom followed her though he slipped a bit. Shadow then Fang followed, and I nudged Cyclone.

"I'll catch you if you fall," I reassured him as he shot a terrified glance at the large tree. He just nodded, and unsheathed his claws. He tried to dig them into the slippery bark, but they were just too small. He tried again, but he couldn't get a grip on the rough bark.

"I taught you better than that." The tom snarled, his face twisted into rage. I glared at him, and whispered to the kit, "I'll kill him when I get the chance."

Cyclone seemed to get I was only _half _joking, and nodded. "I'll never make it," he murmured dejectedly, the four other cats shooting us both annoyed glances.

"It's not your fault, you should be with your mother, not out in the cruel world." He sniffed and I instantly felt bad, maybe something happened to her. Without warning I gently picked him up by his fluffy scruff. _I didn't realize kits had this much fluff!_

"You should have made him climb himself." The gray tom unsheathed his claws and let his fur bristled.

"You should have died so you wouldn't be such a burden." I responded smoothly after I set Cyclone down. My fur didn't even stir as he swiped his blunt claws only half an inch from my face. I just stared levelly back at him, which seemed to unnerve the despicable tom.

"Alright kits, let's-"

"I believe you meant kit." I interrupted Bird as I walked beside Cyclone in the maze of branches.

"Have it your way," she responded flatly, reminding me of my loathing leader. _They both give in too quickly._ "Light's den is a few trees-"

"You cats are cruel. How exactly do kits like Cyclone navigate these and not get lost?" I heard a few sighs of exasperation, I could nearly read Shadow's thoughts. _Why is she getting them mad on purpose? She's going to blow our cover and not going to get us where we want to be; with the cats who plan everything!_

_Because I am more so respected the tougher I look,_ I answered him in my head.

"He'll learn." She answered shortly as she easily leapt from this tree to the other. "And Stone, don't let me give you a chance to jeer at your poor apprentice."

"I believe his title is kit." I corrected her. I felt him start to tremble in my jaws as I picked him up and leapt to the other tree.

"I can jump myself," he muttered, though I knew he appreciated my help.

"Yes, but can you jump three fox-lengths and get away with your legs unbroken?" I asked somewhat scathingly. _I'm sorry… it's just my nature._ That was just about the only time I've felt guilty for being myself. He just dipped his head in acknowledgement, and I saw Stone scowl.

"Sad how a kit will respect me, a stranger, yet he nearly dies when you come anywhere near him." The dark gray tom glared, but before he could come up with a retort we reached Light's 'den.' I say it like that because it was open to the sky, it wasn't a true den. Well, draped over the branches was moss which kind of dimmed the lighting, but it wasn't that big or dark or anything. I prefer caves.

"Trespassers?" an almost eager voice questioned, making me curious. Now why is that so exciting? Cyclone started to quiver beside me, and I just pressed my self close to the kitten.

"Y-you aren't t-trespassers, are you?" Cyclone whimpered so quietly I nearly didn't catch his words. He looked truly terrified, of what I'll ask later. I just shook my head and studied the leader of this group. She was a delicate looking she-cat, with long, slender legs while she had a long tail to balance it out. She was light cream in color, with a white chest and forepaws. _I find it quite amusing the Darkness has something against cats with white fur or markings of any kind, when their leader has a white chest and forepaws. Almost hilarious, really. Some may even call it somewhat hypocritical._

"They wish to join the Darkness," Bird meowed after dipping her head in respect. "The silver one…."

"Stone, take them outside so Bird and I may converse in privacy." The cream she-cat ordered in a commanding voice. He opened his mouth to object, but he swiftly closed it as he led us outside.

Once we stepped outside, I took the time to marvel at the beauty of the place. The sycamore trees were so tightly woven together through the branches and tops it nearly looked like one big tree. The tips of the leaves had turned slightly brown, for leaf-fall would soon be here. Moss, honey sickle, bracken, any plant they could find it looked like had been woven into a nest up in the treetops. It was absolutely breathtaking.

Spread out around the trees were little 'dens,' and judging by the size at least five cats could fit in each little nest so there were a large array of nests. Cats were milling about in the trees, looking right at home as the sun drifted downward. We had been walking for a while, and then we had to hide our scent and then we had to do all that other introducing stuff and such. It was tiring, that was for sure.

Cyclone pressed against my silver fur as a chilling breeze swept through the treetops, begging the browning leaves to dance with it. His warmth made my heart feel soft, something I have been trying avoid. But I couldn't deny it this time, something like how a mother would feel for its kit is what I'm feeling right now. Surges of protectiveness flushed through my body, a feeling that I have been foreign to until now.

"Light will speak with you now," Bird announced after a curt nod in our direction. "The kit stays behind."

"Nope." I responded instantly, my fur already bristling at her words. _So far this is the only time I've been rebellious for the sake of someone else, how sad. Almost two moons later and only now have I been unselfish for someone else's sake._

"He stays." She growled back as her claws unsheathed.

"Let him come if the silver one stays." Light commanded as her golden eyes flashed, as if daring anyone to contradict her. _This is hilarious, I'm treated like some god everywhere I go because they know I could kill them in one swipe, yet I do not say this out loud. Hilarious._

I shuffled forward as Cyclone kept close, while Shadow, Stone, and Fang followed. I held my breath as Light's eyes scanned us three, wondering exactly how much of an asset we'd be I suppose.

"I will allow you three to join, but you must help us in some way. You will have to kill two cats in one fight to prove your worth, then you will hunt from dawn to dusk for two days. We do not train lightly here, you see."

"You act like this is actually going to be hard," I grumbled as my claws unsheathed, scoring marks into the branch on which I sat. Shadow and Fang both shot me desperate glances, we all know they can't do that without some serious wounds. _Am I the best spy or what? Endangering their lives because I want to protect another… that's not so wrong, is it?_

"You will be Cyclone's mentor while this is all happening, then." Light told me icily as her golden eyes burned with frustration.

"And I wish to fight your best two warriors." I added as she nearly turned away from us. She gave a harsh laugh, like ice scraping against ice. Like rock grinding against rock, like an ear-splitting shriek.

"Are you mad? Just one could kill you in one blow!" She practically howled at the top of her lungs. I just stared at her calmly, letting her know I was serious. "How about a fight now, with both of our best?"

"Sure, but you might want to tell them they might die of their injuries." Shadow and Fang were slightly shaking their heads, but I know they yearned to pin me down and throw me into the river instead.

"Whatever, rogue," she muttered as she whispered to Bird in a low voice.

"Stone will show you to your nests." Bird announced before trying to lead us out of Light's den. And I mean try, if I want to leave I will, and if I don't then… well… I won't.

"Cyclone is coming with me," I demanded before being shoved out of the den. I dodged but for the few seconds I kept my gaze locked on Light.

"Fine, he always wanted a mother anyways." Light flicked her tail casually, but anger made me stand my ground further.

"I am not his mother, I am the only cat who will even send a caring glance his way. You treat him like fox-dung when he is smarter than any of you." After the insult, I whipped around and brushed past them; but not without beckoning the dark brown kit to follow.

"You don't know where the fight will be or where you're sleeping." Stone told me as I nearly escaped his words. I slowly turned around, and answered smoothly, "I'm not a bird, I don't need to nest in trees. And I think I have a nose, so I can figure it out."

Bird followed me, and when I stopped she led me to where we'd be sleeping. I was close to it anyways, and to my dismay there were other cats there.

"Cobra, Adder, and Viper, this is one of your new denmates. Two others should be here-"

"I got lost." Stone interrupted her as he let Shadow and Fang pass to stand beside me at the entrance. The small but warm nest was in a dome shape, moss and an array of plants draped off the branch. Below us were woven sticks to support our weight, with many layers of moss placed over it to make it softer.

"Mouse-brain," Bird muttered after continuing with the introduction. "Anyways, this is Shadow, Fang, and-"

"As I said when we met, I can introduce myself when I want to." I interrupted smoothly, my eye not even fluttering when she growled at me.

"That lovely cat is Synndra and the kit with her is Cyclone. Those three wish to join the Darkness and the kit is now Synndra's because she wants a challenge. I hope you make them at home, and don't forget the fight." I just glared back icily as she stepped away, Stone three pawsteps behind her.

"I'm Cobra." A somewhat friendly looking black tom with a dark brown forepaw introduced himself, his green eyes scanning the four of us.

"Adder." A dark brown tom muttered stiffly, his dark green eyes almost exactly like Cobra's.

"Viper." A dark brown tom with a black forepaw murmured softly as his brilliant green eyes studied the floor intently. _I'm going to guess they're all brothers, their eyes are all the same color and shade while their pelt colors are nearly identical._

"You can sleep anywhere so long as you don't kill anyone in your sleep," Adder told us dryly as we stood there awkwardly. I just nodded curtly, and took the back left corner where nobody else would be near me. Well, except for Cyclone. The meek dark brown kit stayed close to my side as I confidently padded to the back, my fur brushing the soft green moss as I walked by.

"What fight?" Cobra piped up as I brushed past him.

"Light said we'd have to fight two cats at once to join, and Synndra thought it was necessary to fight whoever your two best warriors are." Shadow snorted in annoyance as he glanced my direction.

"At least I'm not backing down and being a wimp." I muttered as I curled up into a tight ball of sleek bright silver fur striped with black.

"I see you got yourself a good one," Viper remarked as Shadow and I both stood up, suddenly alert.

"You think we're mates?" He nearly shouted, bristling madly as his eyes glowered.

"This is hilarious, we're practically enemies." I growled as my claws unsheathed, the idea sending dark humor and indignant fury through my pelt.

"We'll see about that." Cobra winked at me teasingly, but instead of taking it as a light joke I wanted to feel his fur beneath my unsheathed claws.

"Why do you hate Shadow?" Cyclone whispered to me after I sat back down, ignoring the three strangers' whispers.

"It's a long story, little one." I murmured soothingly as I stroked his fluffy pelt, another unwanted wave of affection sweeping over me. _Oh no I am becoming soft…. Curse this weak and helpless kit for turning me weak and soft. No, it's not his fault…. I couldn't ever hate the kit anyways._

"The fight will be in a few minutes, you should probably go." Fang's voice told me as I nearly dozed off.

"Right before I nearly fell asleep, thanks for ruining my day." I got to my paws slowly, so as to not wake up the sleeping kitten. The sight of his soft pelt made me melt inside, but I quickly shoved it down. I have a fight to win.

"You want me to show you to the fighting area?" Adder offered stiffly after I nearly padded out of the mossy den thing. His unfamiliar voice sounded odd in my ears, but I put on my usual cold mask.

"I have my own paws, brain, and nose, thanks," I responded just as stiffly as I strode away from him.

"Have fun getting killed if you walk over there," he called as I padded in the opposite direction of the dark brown tom. "Adders and killer spiders live over there."

I slowly backed up, and without looking accidentally bumped into him. "Sorry," I muttered as I shouldered past him.

"You're going to be late, just follow me." I did, but not without a resentful growl.

"I don't think you're half as bad as everybody else thinks," Adder meowed after a bit of silence, save the crunching of leaves under our paws.

"Oh yeah?" I asked shortly, deciding not to say anything too revealing.

"You act all tough and rebellious, but I've got eyes and I see how you look at that kit." His dark green eyes were scanning the forest quickly, as if waiting for something to leap out and kill him.

"He's abused and belittled, who wouldn't feel sorry for him?" I snapped, resuming my usual cold self. The version of me I'm not sure I like or dislike. "Oh wait, you heartless cats don't. I forgot, my bad," I mewed sarcastically as my blue eyes rolled to the right.

"Believe what you wish," he murmured as he halted. "This is the fighting area."

At least a hundred cats, or maybe it was eighty as Dark said. Anyways, many, many cats were gathered in a loose circle. A large boulder overlooked it all, and perched upon it was the elegant leader, a weird light dancing in her golden eyes. A light I disliked for no logical reason, but it made me feel wary.

"Three cats wish to join us, and you all know what requirements they must fulfill." A roar of eager cheers erupted from the scores of cats, and I felt confidence rise up in my fur.

"Synndra, one of the cats wishing to join, requests to fight our two best darks. I give you Synndra, a small silver tabby against Tooth and Claw." I didn't interrupt because I was too busy studying my competition. _This is going to be easy!_ I thought to myself with glee. I strutted forward as my bright silver pelt glowed, my icy blue eyes determined.

In front of me stood two toms, no surprise there, shoulder to shoulder. One was a black tom with a dark brown chest with stony blue-gray eyes. He seemed to be sizing me up too, glancing at me with something like laughter in his eyes. _He thinks I'm a joke. We'll see who's begging for mercy at the end of this battle._

The other tom was dark gray, black stripes giving him a stunning look. Or at least it would have been stunning if he didn't have scars on nearly every inch on his pelt, nearly exactly how the other did. His pale yellow-green eyes were sharp as he too studied my slick frame, doubt clouding his gaze.

"You know the rules… there are none except this isn't necessarily a fight to the death. Synndra, I hope you know what you're doing."

"Yeah, I know I'm winning, thanks," I responded smoothly as not a hair on my pelt stirred. Many cats' gazes looked surprise as their yellow, green, blue, gray, and orange eyes stared me down. But I kept my head held high, not one trace of doubt in myself.

But not to my surprise, Fang and Shadow didn't seem as if I was doing anything unusual, probably because I wasn't. I felt Adder's gaze on my back, but I ignored that too.

"Fight!" Light yowled as she slammed a paw down on the rock she was perched on, eyes gleaming in approval as one of the tom's lunged for me.

I twisted to the side, and in doing so as I landed I ended up catching the other off guard. As I viciously clawed the black tom's muzzle, I darted out of reach of them both. They tried to trap me between the crowd, but I leapt over their heads. As they spun around I bit down on one's tail, and he let out a howl of pain.

"Not so tough, are you pretty kitty?" I taunted as I slipped out of his grasp again. Frustration glowered in both their eyes as I continued my game. I could end it if I wanted to, but the thrill I get out of fighting is nearly addictive. I would leap over their heads, jump away, dart away, wearing them out. Then I'd claw them as I raced away, and I got away unscathed.

Murmurs of awe and approval made pride burst in my chest as I did the same trick over, attacking like a sly and cunning wolf. I snapped my teeth down on one's paw and I heard it splinter, while the other managed to rip at one of my hind legs. As the dark gray tom winced and yowled in pain, I did the classic leg sweep to knock the other down.

I bit down on his neck without hesitation, and despite his attempts to throw me off I felt him getting weaker. The one with the broken paw limped over to me, but I merely swiped at his other foreleg, causing him to crumple to the ground.

This went on for about half an hour, I think. The gray tom refused to give up, though he could barely follow me without wincing. The black tom was removed from the fight, seeing as I nearly killed him.

"Can't you do better than that?" I mewed in a bored voice as I calmly sat down, licking my fur swiftly as the gray cat with the splintered paw dragged himself over to me. He crumpled to the ground in exhaustion, and I slammed a paw down on his head.

"I think I win," I told Light smoothly as a pained screech erupted from his battered body while my pelt was nearly unharmed.

"Synndra is the winner," she announced as the cats stayed silent, disbelief apparent in every wide eye, every still tail, every gaping jaw.

I stood up proudly, my head still high as the batted gray tabby was dragged away. Light dipped her head to me, and I back away, cleaning my own wounds.

"Nice job," a cool voice complimented from behind me. Adrenaline still pumped in my veins, and due to that I whipped around in the blink of an eye with my claws only half an inch away from Adder's eye. But to my astonishment he didn't even flinch, he just stared back coolly.

"I don't need meaningless compliments from you or anyone," I responded, not missing a beat. His forest-green eyes betrayed nothing as he stared back into my icy blue eyes. Eye contact for any reason except aggression unnerves me, I don't know why. I don't know myself.

"Only you can decide whether they're meaningless or not," he answered after a while of walking. As I said, I'm not a bird and I shouldn't have to nest in trees. So I decided to wander the forest floor, and I didn't even notice the dark brown tom followed me.

"I guess it's useless to demand you or any other cat go away…." I muttered almost grumpily as I kept my pace the same, Adder's shoulder near mine. The closeness of his fur unnerved me, as any tom's does. I know it's kind of silly, getting furious whenever a tom comes anywhere near you, but I'm not like you. Or anyone.

"Glad you've figured that out by now," he responded dryly, his green eyes still focused ahead of him. It was nearly scary; I felt like I was talking to myself, the coldness, the stubbornness, the loneliness that he tried to hide so well but I know him as I know my own self. I think only I can understand him, only I know the signs of a privately hurting cat.

I know what it is, to hurt.

**Sorry about how badly the fight is written, I never was good at writing fights xD Hope you liked this chapter, and review please :D Oh, and sorry for not updating in forever :/ I was kind of grounded from typing due to my procrastination on homework over the summer... Also, I give up on having a posting schedule, because sometimes I forget... so then it defeats thee purpose. So from now on, I'll just add a chapter as soon as I finish it, okay? Okay.**

**Also, on my profile I have added a poll so you can vote who you would want to be Synndra's mate, if anybody. (In my opinion she's just to freaking awesome for anybody, but that's just mine :3 Well.. a mate would help her soften up which I want to happen but you know... So yes, please please please take a minute of your time to vote and if enough people vote for one of them, I'll for sure make it happen ;3 So yeah, vote :)**

**We got a little bit of SynndraxAdder going on here, huh? I wanted another cat who's just as cold as she is, so... ta-da! Anybody like cold Adder? :3 (He'll be on the poll too :D He's pretty cool xD)**

**OH MY FREAKING GOSH I HAVE ANOTHER THING TO SAY- I don't really _need_ oc's but I will let... let's see... the first four reviewers post an oc. No promising they'll an important character but I will for sure keep them in the story :D I already have so dang many of the characters... Sorry.**

**ALSO- Ugh I know I'm sorry my author's notes are sooooo long, but I need help with the title. It really make no sense now and could one of you be so kind as to even give me an idea? I'm think of something like 'I Am Who I Am' but eh it's not that good. So please help me out x: Okay, the author's note can be ended- WAIT... nope forgot one more thing. Sorry x: One last message below-**

**Vote on the poll, review, and keep an eye for the next chapter! Love you guys!**

**~Ashthief**


	9. Two Frozen Hearts, Another Broken

**Hi! It's been FOUR WHOLE DAYS since I've updated and I'm feeling pleased with myself because I updated so amazingly fast :D Wow, you guys are awesome I hope you know that :3 Seven reviews in one chapter, love you guys :D I'm so happy you guys are awesome and here are the...**

**~Review replies~**

**Foreststar of WindClan- Hmm that's one possibility... ugh I have super good title ideas but then when I go to write them down I forget x; I shall consider your title, but do you think something like I lost myself would be good? Because like she lost who she was when she went through that tragic thing you know... Idk I had a great title along that line but I forgot it :(**

**Grayfur of WindClan- Thank you I tried to make it a good chapter after not updating for a bit x; Honestly I love SynndraxAdder or vice versa, but I have two people wanting Synndra to be alone. Idk I'm kind of neutral and as a writer you cannot be neutral when you have to decide their fates... We'll see.**

**Frostdawn- Who is this Swipe person? I never added anybody named Swipe... Anywho, yay I'm forgiven :DDDD And okay I'll await that day I get this request.**

**Lunarsparks- for your first review- Cyclone is the little guy and yeah Synndra needs to soften up really. I love this chapter it's pretty cute :D Yeah I like Hunter because he's somewhat like me in the way he's kinda off on his own but not quite x3 Yeah she is absolutely SURROUNDED by toms so it's kinda hard XD THere aren't many she-cats (if any) like her so yeah... I thought it's be weird to have like everybody be a tough she-cat (of which they don't seem to be). And no problem I got bored so I was like oh hey a book by Lunarsparks I must check this out xD No problem, you've reviewed on my story so much I thought it'd be nice to repay the favor a little :3 Outstanding is another great word indeed. ****And for your second review-**** (gosh this is a long reply xD) Oh thanks I thought it was kind of short and stupid but eh I had to put that in, no choice. Adder is great he's just as complex as out favorite cat (of which should be Synndra) Yeah I am so torn I have no idea I'll have one chapter where it seems someone likes her then she pushes him away so yeah... Oh my gosh I love the way you put it... no words. I never thought of it like that, absolutely awesome. :D I am always happy when someone says they love this story so thank you! And geez this is longer than most the paragraphs in the actual story XDDD**

**Blackclaw- Hmm this is definitely a possibility. Thanks I think I will end up using it :D Maybe maybe not Shadow I change my mind so much this story would kind of get crazy if I didn't delete a few chapters I thought were bad xD And I try to update asap, I give up on a schedule. Cookie? o: Enjoy your magical cookie xd**

**Fluffball569- I know right :D He's so freaking awesome and cute too xD Nice reference xd love that movie lol. Yeah I kind of gave up on the poll only you and someone else voted :/ Oh well, we'll see if I'll try it for something else.**

**And now on with the story, thanks for reading as always :3 **

Chapter 9: Two Frozen Hearts, Another Broken

A moon later, and I had easily won the respect of Light. I had trained Cyclone hard, but not abusively as Stone had. That despicable tom. His adorable kit fluff was getting thicker, into more sleek dark brown fur. And yes, I did say he was adorable. If you ever saw his fluffy fur sticking up everywhere with his large, innocent pale green eyes you'd agree. But no, I'm not getting soft. I'm too much of a fighter to just turn all weak.

Right now I was with Cobra; he was showing me some place because he thought nobody else would care. I answered with 'and you thought I'd care?' He ignored my rude comment. I somewhat get what he's saying, he _is _surrounded by Adder the Cold and Cobra the Troublemaker. I don't know how he's still happy and cheerful, living with those two insufferable toms. _I shouldn't judge, _every _cat here is insufferable._

"I found this half a moon after I was allowed outside," Cobra told me as pride glowed in his green eyes, warm and cheerful unlike both his brothers'.

"Ah yes, because trees aren't outside, now are they?" I laughed sarcastically after my remark, though it wasn't as rude as they normally are.

"Outside the nursery, mouse-brain," he responded teasingly as he flicked a leaf at me. I swatted it back instantly, pinning it to the ground in one swift, clean motion. _My strength and speed sometimes scare even me,_ I thought in my head as I stared at the ripped leaf, both brown and green.

He suddenly darted forward, and I dashed after him. He raced up a hill, escaping the browning trees splashed with orange, yellow, and red. But when I rose over the crested hill the black tom had disappeared from my view. Confusion crept up on me as curiosity slipped into my mind too.

"Below you, mouse-brain!" I heard Cobra yowl, his voice thundering under my paws. Right ahead of me looked like the rest of the hill, but once I got to the bottom and looked up, there was a small crevice in the grassy hill streaked with brown and wilted grass. I pelted up to it, and squeezed my lean body through it. A pair of yellow eyes greeted me, along with a pair of green. I hissed and unsheathed my claws as a familiar scent hit my nose but the unrecognizable cat stepped forward calmly, its white pelt not even twitching at my hostility.

"I see you figured it out. Good for you. Now, Synndra, this is my friend, Streak, and-"

"Ah, I thought that was you," I muttered as the realization hit me. _Mouse-brain,_ I scolded myself. "I thought cats with white markings on their pelt couldn't be in the Darkness."

"Straight to the point as usual, Synndra," Streak mewed as his right ear twitched.

"They aren't allowed to _join,_ but if a white kit happens to be born they're thrown out at… eight moons I think?" Cobra tipped his head as his green eyes lost focus. But now that my eyes had adjusted I glanced at my surroundings. All around me was wet, cool stone that was dark yet shining in this dim light. It had an eery silence and stillness, but what else could be expected in an abandoned cave?

"Six moons," Streak muttered as his yellow eyes glanced at our surroundings too.

"What do you want, Streak? I'm sure you didn't come here to visit old 'friends', as in they would kill you on sight." I studied my claws as they scraped the unfamiliarly cold floor.

"Er… Dark sent me," he muttered, and I immediately detected his uncomfortableness. My icy blue eyes narrowed as he glanced at me almost sheepishly.

"Liar," I called out smoothly, and his ears slightly flattened against his head. "So what _are _you here for?"

"Well, Dark _should_ have sent someone to check up on you guys," Streak murmured, not looking at me in the eye. Cats like that make me suspicious. "It's been a whole moon and our stupid leader-"

"Hah, he's not my leader," I scoffed, interrupting the white tom streaked with gray.

"Anyways," he rolled his eyes, continuing, "we haven't heard anything from you guys in half a moon, and for all we know you could have died. You should be back at home right now, or at least that was the original plan."

"You do realize one of their cats is right next to us?" I asked dryly as I swung my glare to the black tom hidden in the shadows.

"He won't tell," Streak answered confidently though I kept my suspicious gaze on the shadows.

"I don't believe you," I spat as my icy blue eyes continued to stay narrowed.

"That's fine, because I didn't come here for your approval," Streak hissed back, his yellow eyes furious. In the blink of an eye his fur fluffed out in fury while his mouth was furrowed into a snarl. "I came to see if you were alright, but I forgot who I was looking for. Synndra the Cold." With a defeated expression in his eyes, his tail low to the ground, he left the cave, just me and Cobra left.

I just stared after him, but before he left my sight altogether he glanced back at me, regret and sorrow swimming in his eyes. But it vanished so quickly I thought I imagined it.

"Well, that couldn't have gone better," Cobra remarked lightly, and though I know he's only trying to make me feel better, I wanted to claw him right then and there.

"What's his problem?" I muttered as my gaze trailed back to where the white tom had stood only a few moments ago. Guilt clenched my heart, but I ignored as I usually did.

"You may have a heart that's frozen, and a head that doesn't believe in listening to it, but you seriously don't know?" his answer that eluded my question drove anger back to the surface, while I thought to myself grimly. _It seems anger is the only emotion that keeps me going. Others survive without it… can I?_

"No, I know the answer and I'm just asking because I'm stupid enough to!" By the end of my sarcastic, angry comment my voice was raised into a shout. I heard pawsteps, and hope pricked at me ever so slightly; if I didn't pay attention to what I'm feeling so much I wouldn't have realized I could hope for anything but to be alone.

"What are you doing to Synndra?" Adder's low voice growled as he slipped into the cave on large paws, his broad shoulders barely able to squeeze inside.

"He's not doing anything to me," I murmured, suddenly losing my fire. Today I've managed to hurt one, maybe even two cats worse than I had really meant to. I don't want to have another broken cat to blame me for their hurt. Adder's gaze was still concerned and defensive, but I brushed him away.

"Really, it wasn't him," I murmured as I slipped out of the cave.

"I never showed you the cool part," Cobra whispered in my ear as I brushed past him.

"I'll be here at moon-high if you want, I still have Cyclone to train and such." He nodded, and I followed Adder back to camp. His dark green eyes were suddenly wiped of emotion as we left his brother behind by himself.

"What's your problem?" I muttered as the forest trapped me once again, the sky visible through the weak branches that are starting bare themselves of their leaves. When he made no response, I let out an irritated sigh. "Apparently I did something to some tom and he won't tell me what, and now you won't tell me why you charged in like some hero. What. Is. Wrong?"

"Ask Viper, he seems to get a kick out of it after I mention it," he answered bitterly, his eyes squeezing shut as if he was reliving it again.

"As if Viper the Troublemaker would actually answer me truthfully," I scoffed, though curiosity prodded at me. "He thinks I'm insignificant and just like every other she-cat."

"Well that's why- nevermind," Adder mumbled after ending what he was going to say awkwardly.

"Too late for 'nevermind', what's wrong?" He refused to meet my gaze, even respond, so I just stayed silent. "Thanks for walking me home I guess… see you around."

"See you," he muttered under his breath and started to walk away, but I whipped around and planted my paws firmly on the ground as I stood in front of him.

"What did I do?" I demanded as I braced myself for his scathing reply.

"Nothing." I could tell he was biting back an irritated and furious growl, which made me only pry further. He's nearly exactly like me, in the way he's defensive, sarcastic, and just plain impossible; on purpose, I might add. But he's not lashing out on me or leaving me behind, which is what I would have done. So what's wrong?

"Maybe I will just have to ask Viper," I commented as I strode away calmly, though his gaze stayed with me. But it burned unlike anger, it was almost like… I don't even know. I couldn't identify the emotion pricking at my skin, but when have I ever been aware enough to identify anything but anger?

I left the answerless tom behind as I swiftly darted up a brown tree, nearly bare now. Crisp wind ruffled my fur as I climbed straight to the top, gazing at everything that lay before me. A transformation had occurred through this last half moon, magical yet ugly at the same time. The beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I suppose.

The trees have been stripped mostly of their leaves, but a few leaves clung on. It was pretty yet not at the same time, while to some the bareness might be ugly, to me it's a new beginning for the trees. _I have such weird thoughts…._

"Synndra! Synndra!" an excited voice called, breaking the silence that had settled on the forest. Birds cawed in surprise, their black silhouettes breaking the bland sky.

"What is it?" I asked as the brown kit raced up to me, his pale green eyes alight with enthusiasm and excitement. I let out a warm purr as I flicked some bits of twigs and leaves out of his kit-soft pelt. It still felt weird in my throat, but I always feel so light and happy around the kitten so I don't care.

"I caught a rabbit bigger than me!" he announced as his chest puffed up in pride. Overwhelming affection swept through me once again as I licked out a bit of moss tucked behind his ear. I gave up trying to push these warm feelings down, but to others I hadn't changed one bit. It's kind of weird, really. One kit can change me when I'm around him, but when I'm around others I'm still that one cat hiding beneath a cold mask and anger.

"Good job, Cyclone. Pretty good for a four moon old, huh?"

"Five moons and a half," he corrected, but I just ignored the last smart comment.

"Whatever," I answered shortly, and focused on more pressing matters. "Do you want to battle train or hunt some more?"

"Battle train!" His green eyes shone wildly with even more excitement, but before he darted away I called him back.

"I might just have to claim I caught that rabbit if you don't bring it back." In an instant he launched himself at me, and I let him. I gave a fake yowl of surprise as I dramatically fell on my back. I was so much bigger than him he couldn't even place his paws on either side of me to pin me down, but I sat still as he batted at me with soft, unsheathed paws.

"I win," he announced as he slammed one of his paws on my chest, but it didn't even wind me.

"Oh yeah?" In a blur of movements, I pinned him down in a matter of seconds. Even I don't know what or how I did it, but I did.

"Are you sure you're a cat?" Cyclone asked as he shook the dust out of his dark brown fur.

"A cat, yes. Do I have a heart like any other cat, no." I flexed my claws as he gave his fur a quick grooming before the battle training session.

"Why do you hate yourself?" Anger surged through me, like any other time I'm questioned. But I forced it down as a battling force collided with the anger. What this burning emotion is called, only cats who care know.

"I don't hate myself, I hate the world I'm in and cats I'm stuck with," I muttered in a voice that warned him that I'll be nice now, but next time I may not so easily control my anger. But he ignored it, as usual.

"It seems I know you better than you know yourself." His pale green eyes were indifferent, as if his statement was one of the weather, not how I am or who I am.

"Since when did a five moon old kit know a sixteen moon old cat better than she knows herself?" I demanded as a snarl entered my voice. For a moment I forgot his fragile state, and he started trembling. "Sorry, I didn't mean that. I'm too far in the dark to come back to the light." My tail flicked back and forth as he stopped shaking.

"You ready to fight or what?" I asked as I crouched down, my silver belly fur softly brushing the ground. He gave a tense nod, and before his head nearly touched his chest in confirmation I lunged for the kitten. I tried my best to not kill the poor little scrap, but it was increasingly hard as adrenaline took over in the midst of my fights. Even in fake ones, I felt the urge to unsheathe my claws and draw them over my opponent. Which was scary, fighting against a cat not even half my size. Well, he was getting bigger but not fast enough.

As I lunged he ducked, and I only barely missed him. "React faster," I demanded as I flipped to the side as he attacked me. At first he cowered down and fought back meekly. I knew my time here was coming to an end, apparently the Darkness wasn't planning on attacking. Regret twisted my heart as I thought about Cyclone, he'd probably be given back to Stone. _Maybe I could take him with me…? No, his place is here._

"What are you, a mouse or a cat?" rage glowered in his eyes and as he launched himself at me yet again I dodged, but he managed to twist to the left to catch me off guard. He drew a sheathed paw over my shoulder, and he did as I taught him to as he darted away before I could tackle him. But other than that, he couldn't catch me.

Two hours after this, I decided it was time to stop. He flopped on the ground, breathing very heavily. Only his chest moved, the rest of his battered body lay still.

"We'll race against the others after this, just a heads up." I drew a lazy tongue over my shoulder while the dark brown kit attempted to regain his breath, but all he ended up doing was slowing his breathing.

"They hate me," he whined as he struggled to get to his paws. His tongue was hanging out of his mouth like those filthy dogs while his tail lay dead as a leaf.

"Tough," I spat cold heartedly as I gazed at him with warm eyes despite my cold voice. _I couldn't truly be cold to him even if I tried._ "You think others like me? I'm not dead, now am I?"

"The difference is you _try _to be difficult while I'm just being the innocent kit I am." _The kit has a point…._

"It'll make you tougher and more determined to grind them into the dust, so don't complain." I strode away, calling over my shoulder, "come with me, I'm going to fetch those immature kits."

"Most are two to six moons older than me, except for Comet. She's my age." I snorted in amusement as a sheepish look crept upon his face. An embarrassed one even I have the brains to recognize, just not the heart.

"I'll make sure your crush shows up, or I'll have to claw her pretty face." I think I'd actually do that, if only for my little Cyclone.

"Thanks, but I don't think I'd have any shot with her if that happened." He may have declined rather quickly, but appreciation shone in his pale green eyes.

"Smart for a kit," I grunted as I hauled myself up a tree, floating up the bare limbs almost effortlessly. He followed me; he finally got the hang of climbing once his claws and his paws grew larger.

I soon found the den filled with the younger cats, it was located the farthest away from the main 'camp' where the fresh-kill pile was located; the central point. Cyclone followed me nervously, shivering as if there was a large, cold wind blowing through.

"What do you want?" A hostile, cocky voice I instantly hated growled as I placed a firm paw on the apprentices' den. _Twelve_ cats were crowded inside the den, and now I know why they have the largest den. It was so big it could easily fit twenty cats.

"Kits think they know everything," I muttered under my breath, not even acknowledging the cocky tom. He was rather large for his age, guessing since he's still in this den. He had a cream-colored pelt with large black spots, a striking color once I got over my hate for him. He had striking pale blue eyes, like fragments of the perfectly colored sky. But they still held hate and resentment.

"Grown cats do too." He stared back at me challengingly while I had quite a few comebacks pop up in my mind.

"Ooooh!" The other eleven cats meowed in a long, drawn out mew.

"You didn't contradict me when I called you a kit," I pointed out as my icy blue eyes narrowed threateningly. "We're having a race, and Light said if you don't you will have your warrior ceremony five moons late. Along with spending two more taking care of the elderly."

Many groans went up, and I smirked in triumph as they trudged forward.

"Whoever wins will be a warrior one moon early," I called over my shoulder as I shot forward with ease, Cyclone keeping up fairly well for only being half my size.

"I think it's funny how you make this stuff up as you go along," Cyclone snorted after his comment.

"I think it's smart," I answered proudly. "Which one is Comet?"

"The red she-cat talking with Patch," he allowed a bitter growl to enter his voice as he glared in their direction. She was really pretty, I concluded after studying Cyclone's crush. She had an amazingly slender body, with perfect triangular ears while her muzzle was pointed elegantly. She had small paws but they weren't small enough to disappear in the grass. She was just… perfect. Not one dark ginger hair was out of place, while her amber eyes were glowing. I can see why she might as well be the most desirable she-cat.

"You mean that idiot of-"

"Yes, Synndra, Light's son." I don't resent Cyclone using my name, but for others it's still the same story. I hate them if they dare utter my name.

"I wondered where he got that cream colored pelt, I don't see many others with that light of coat." He just nodded blankly as his stare was fixed on the loathing tom who was apparently the 'almighty' leader's son.

"He just likes her because he's like any other stupid tom who's looking for a she-cat to take advantage of," he growled as his claws unsheathed.

"Cyclone, calm down. You're barely even a kit!"

"So is she but Patch is already flirting with her." His distrusting gaze was settled on the pair all the way there, and I didn't mention it again.

"Alright, we'll race from the top of this hill, run around the forest, and-" the second I spoke after I halted was nearly the second I was interrupted.

"The whole forest?" Patch asked in a dismayed voice, one filled with horror and whining at the same time. It was irking, the pitiful mew in it.

"Now I know why you didn't correct me when I called you a kit." I narrowed my eyes at him threateningly while his ears flattened against his head though his fur bristled. He was caught in between aggression and submission. Interesting. "Grow up before you realize you're about to die and you're still a self absorbed kit."

He didn't say anything, only glared at Cyclone who was trying to appear taller at my shoulder. As if it was the kitten's fault.

"As I said, around the forest and back here." Many whines followed my statement, so I decided to increase the challenge. "I was going to have mercy on you kits and make it one lap, but due to your inability to keep your fat, whining mouths shut I'll make it two laps."

Utter silence followed my statement, and I smirked, knowing I now had their attention.

"Lag behind them the whole time until the end, and then there'll be your chance to take the lead," I whispered in Cyclone's dark brown ear after he bounded up to the line I had drawn in the damp dirt.

"Ready?" All of the kits nodded. I'll call them kits until they become old warriors because they'll always act like one until they're nearly dead. "Set." Tension crackled in the air, snapping like a crocodile's jaws on its prey.

"Mouse." More than half the cats raced forward, and I laughed a somewhat cruel laugh. I nodded in approval at Cyclone who was still as a stone, crouched down next to Comet. _He's growing up way too fast if he's having a crush before he's even out of his kit-hood._

"Go," I told them calmly, and immediately every cat but Cyclone shot forward, eager to impress me, I'm sure.

While they did their little race I hunted in the stream that ran just a little bit away from the starting line. I soon caught a few fish, and once I caught an impressively large crow, considering it was leaf-bare, Patch had reached the finish line.

"I win!" he yowled triumphantly while others shot past him. I shook my head with a withering look in my eyes. I was literally dying from his stupidity, it nearly hurt.

"You have to make two laps, mouse-brain!" I shouted in seething fury as I swiped a sheathed paw at his ear, but I could only barely keep them tucked inside my paws, not out.

"I don't have to, you can't make me." Stubborn light shone in his eyes and I towered over him while I let my fur bristle.

"Listen here, you little piece of fox-dung. I am older than you, smarter, stronger, and faster than you. You don't want to get in a fight with me, but if you keep pushing me the way you have, it is a fight you shall get." I unsheathed my claws and swiped them at his throat, only barely able to keep the urge back to plunge them into his soft throat right then and there. They pricked at his skin, making a few beads of blood form at the surface.

"I can do a lot better than that," I whispered in his ear before drawing away, feeling satisfied at the horrific look plastered onto his black and cream face. "Now, you want to race or do you want to race away from me and your death?"

He didn't answer in words, he merely darted forward faster than I had seen a cat run before. _Fear is the best way to get a cat to run._

Half an hour later, and apparently Cyclone took my advice. He ended up beating Patch by at least a minute, and I couldn't be prouder.

"This, kits, it who you should look up to, not down upon," I told them as the kit stood at my right shoulder, as usual. "Hopefully one day you'll be as good as him… oh wait, he's at least two moons younger than you, meaning you won't and can't get much better than him since he won." Many resentful growls were made as he strode away with pride stirring his pelt, but this time their bitterness couldn't touch him.

"You can go home after you all catch two pieces of prey. Cyclone, since you won, you can watch over one half of them while I watch over the other." He seemed terrified by being left alone with those insane cats, but I decided something else to lighten him up. "And if any act out, you may punish them as you wish."

"Ooh I'm so scared, I'll be taking care of the elders for a day," Patch's scathing remark made me want to slap him until he understood how much it hurt me to see how stupid he truly was.

"Have fun having your dark ceremony two moons late," I called out smoothly after his smart, lazy comment. His jaws hung open, and suddenly he wasn't so cocky. Huh, wonder how that happened?

"Y-you can't do that!" his yowl was raised into an outraged fit, and I just gazed at him dully while he 'sobbed' dramatically.

"What a pathetic loser," I muttered in Cyclone's ear. He nodded and just stared at the scene Light's pathetic son was making. "You know what, I'll watch the fresh-kill pile and I'll make sure each and every one of you catches one piece of prey. Deal?"

"Deal!" The apprentice shouted back in union, though a squawk warned the other prey in the area that cats were nearby if their shouting didn't.

"Come on Cyclone, you get first pick of fresh-kill." We trotted back side by side, this time his pelt quivering with happiness. "You did good today, I am proud to call you my apprentice."

"Thanks, it means a lot coming from you instead of some cat who says that to everybody. I know that if you say it, you mean it." He gazed up at me with those innocent, heart-melting eyes of his before I let him climb up the tree first. I quickly followed, moving in fluid motion as I climbed up the tree nearly gracefully. I say nearly because it's those she-cats wrapped up in getting a mate that think they're pretty and gracefully and all of that pointless stuff. Why have a mate and kits when you could fight and be independent?

"Hey Synndra!" I heard Cobra's voice call to me as the black tom with that one forepaw that was dark brown raced up to me. I guess I don't despise him using my name either.

"What's up?" I asked with ease, surprising myself and even more so Cyclone as he stared at me with disbelieving eyes.

"The walk?" he asked, and I remembered. He offered to show me the rest of that cave of his at night because I had been busy training Cyclone and the twelve other insufferable apprentices.

"Sure but I have to make sure those apprentices bring that prey back. Later, okay?" I flicked my ear as excited mews reached my ears, and three of the apprentices were carrying mice in their jaws. Small and stringy, but it was food.

"Go ahead Synndra, enjoy yourself," Cyclone muttered as his eyes glowed teasingly. "If that tom breaks your heart I'll claw him for you when you're gone."

"Thanks… wait what? I'm not leaving…." _Sorry I'm lying, it's part of my duty…_

I apologized to the kit in my head, feeling slightly guilty.

"Just because my eyes are closed doesn't mean I'm asleep," Cyclone muttered as his eyes focused on the moss beneath our paws, soft and comforting.

"You can come with me, back to our camp." I abandoned the thought that maybe I could convince him he didn't hear what Fang, Shadow, and I were talking about; this _was _the chance I had been waiting for, after all. "I'll look after you, I promise. You'll never be hurt by these cats again."

"Even if I go I'll still be alone," he mused softly as his eyes were indecisively.

"No, you'll always have me," I argued as I twitched an ear, secretly hoping he'd come with me.

"Don't worry about it, go enjoy yourself." A humorous gleam was dancing in the depths of his pale green eyes that I held so dear. I give up trying to hide my love for the kit, really. Like how a mother would love her kit.

"Sometimes it's the hidden message that's the most absurd," I teased as I cuffed him lightly over the head with a soft paw.

"What hidden message?" Cyclone asked in the high-pitched, whining kit voice that I despised; most of the time. When Cyclone does that voice it's just cute, though.

"Are we going or what, because I could be sleeping right now instead of standing here." I glanced at Cyclone, and he nodded quickly without any words having to be said.

"Sure, let's go." I followed the black tom down a tree trunk, and I snorted as he leaped only half way down onto the soft ground gracefully.

"Show off," I muttered as I landed next to him, my shoulder fur brushing against the rough bark.

"You can put up with it," he answered lightly as he led me back out of the trees. I got startled when I heard some complaining mews, the apprentices of course, but I quickly brushed that off too.

"Do you know what's wrong with Adder?" I asked casually as we slunk to the hill, out of the forest like forgotten shadows. I nearly lost him once or twice, his black pelt blended in perfectly, while my bright silver fur was like a target saying 'here I am foxes, come get me!'

"Something's wrong with him?" He attempted to match my casual, cool voice but it quavered slightly. As if he knew something I didn't. "It's a long story, really…."

"I got all night," I answered smoothly, my calm, icy blue eyes almost challenging him, as if saying 'you can't use that excuse with me, tough luck'.

"He's not going to like me…"

"As if he did."

"Fine, but you can't make it obvious you know."

"I can keep a secret."

**Hmm wonder what the secret is? Ugh I know I'm horrible with cliff hangers but... sorry :/ This is already like one of my longest chapters if not THE longest so yeah...**

**And about the poll, two people voted... TWO. I am so disappointed in you guys... but apparently they both want Synndra to be alone xD We'll see... In the next chapter :)**

**I feel all evil now... but sorry :/ Also, I'll be at the beach all next week yay xD I know it's the last week of summer vacation (for me anyways, apparently not for many other peoples...) and I won't be able to update because I will be drowning... I mean swimming, yeah that's the word... xD Anyways, I'll try to not drown but no promises x:**

**So yeah no updates all next week except for hopefully Sunday or Saturday of next? We'll see, but thanks to those who have voted (going to guess one was Lunarsparks and I know the other was Fluffball but if I guessed wrong sorry to whoever did vote I was not aiming to offend anybody).**

**So yeah... thanks for reading, and reviews are greatly appreciated :D 'Course if you want to just read that's cool too, I am guilty of doing that a bit x:**

**Anywho, thanks for reading and I'll try to work on this a lot this weekend**

**~Ashthief**


	10. Adder's Fang

**Yes, I know it's been... two weeks since I updated. Bleh I'm sorry I just couldn't think of any ideas, and then my baby sister refused to sleep meaning I couldn't type as much, and THEN school started. And it's surprisingly busy. I've already had like three things to do... pretty awful, huh? So yeah... sorry about the long wait and sorry this chapter is pretty short but I just want to get the plot moving along :/**

**Something I just really really wanted to say was I have a MAJOR twist for the story in mind... not sure if that's good or bad news to y'all but I love it xD It'll appear later but I'm just so excited about the horrible thing that happen... of which sounds awful but eh we all have our moments x:**

**~Review replies~**

**Anova- I'm kind of wanting that pairing too but Synndra always pushes others away so I have no idea if she'll ever get a mate... but we'll see x:**

**Foreststar of WindClan- Oh my gosh I LOVE IT! No kidding; I had to shorten it a little bit and deleted it a little bit here and there but for the most part I used it :3 Thank you so much for the idea and I understand. The first day of school I woke up at 2 and stayed awake until... 7, when I had to go to school x; Bottom line, thanks :D and I don't mind if you post more than one it's cool xD No one else is anyways lol**

**Fluffball569- Good, because I love writing it xD Aww thanks :D You make me feel so happy and good when you call me a great author :DDDD**

**Forestfire- I'm pretty sure I put her fur color in the chapters a lot, but I'm not sure... She has a bright silver pelt with jet black stripes, and icy blue eyes. Basically, the cover. I usually have no idea what color cats should be so I look on the internet and I found that picture and I was like 'perfect!' So sorry her appearance wasn't clear x: I added it quite a bit in this chapter I think.**

**Frostdawn- Ah yes, okay I get it xD I really want SynndraxStreak too but... I can't just make her suddenly soft, you know? It'd kind of kill the story x; But yeah that major plot twist will play into the story later on about who's her mate, if anybody, blah blah blah. **

**And now on with the story! Thank you my lovely five reviewers for reviewing, and everybody enjoy the story! (I'll make an extra long chapter next, to make up for this short one, k?)**

Chapter 9: Adder's Fang

"You and Cobra were gone really late last night," Viper mewed rather loudly and pointedly as I woke up, yawning as the golden sun poured its magnificent radiance upon our nest.

"And that's your business how?" I demanded, my furious glare fixed on the troublemaking dark brown tom with a single black forepaw. Adder had anger plastered on his face after his brother's remark, but this time I knew what his problem was. Unlike the other few times in which it was puzzled me.

****Flashback****

"Adder er… kind of likes you," Cobra admitted, awkwardness in every syllable he spoke.

"Well that's a stupid reason to act like he has to protect me." I snorted after my hurtful comment, and old habits slipped in quietly as not one single sliver of regret or guilt touched me.

"I have absolutely no clue why he does," his voice turned cold, much unlike his usual voice before he continued, "but that's why he allows you to come anywhere near him."

"And how exactly long has this been going on?" I asked as I still felt nothing, sweet nothing.

"I don't know, once you get that information would you ask something like that?" He quickly revised his question, as if anticipating my answer. "Of course you would. But I'm not nosy like that."

"Oh, I'm so insulted," I muttered in a plainly bored voice, my eyes dull. _Why can't everybody just go away how I want them to?_

****Unflashback****

"He's my brother, so it's my business if he's decided to take a mate." _Why oh why is he trying to set off Adder? He's not one to be messed with, even I know that._

"And just how exactly are you expecting a cold and heartless cat to love?" I spat back bitterly as my silver fur flattened while a wave of hopelessness swept over my tired body. Cobra and I had stayed out past midnight, and today I had to get up early due to Viper the Insufferable.

He had nothing else to say, he just stared at me blankly. His mind seemed to be trying to comprehend my bitter words, but obviously his thoughts were getting him nowhere since his mouth was still hanging wide open like some idiot.

"You seem to have a habit of leaving cats speechless." Cyclone muttered after he yawned, sitting up to groom his hectic fur. _It's pretty cool how he can just magically jump in the middle of a conversation and know exactly what to say._

"Their fault they can't respond to my different line of thinking," I muttered as I sat there, my bright silver tail wrapped tightly around my paws. "Come on, kit." I left the awkward silence, and Cyclone followed obediently at my heels.

"Can we go hunting?" Cyclone pleaded as we slipped down the trunk of the great sycamore, now bare of its brilliant leaves.

"Sure, I guess," I muttered as I led him to a river nearby. It had a thin sheet of ice over the murky water, but I could see fish flickering about.

"Did I ever teach you how to fish?" I asked as I tested the ice. The second I touched the freezing cold fragments of purity was the heartbeat it shattered. Even at my softest touch it spread apart into a million little pieces until they melted. Then they were gone.

"Nope, you always insisted I was too small." I could hear the resentment in his voice, but I ignored it.

"You have to have long limbs in order to reach down below the surface, and enough meat on your bones to keep it from freezing," I explained as I got rid of the remaining fragments near the bank. "Copy me," I instructed as I crouched down next to the stream that was only slightly running.

He did it fairly well, really. His belly was too low and his shadow was flashing over the fish, thereby scaring them away. But those were easy fixes, and I had him practice for an hour or so on crunchy leaves.

"When can I catch real fish?" he demanded as he took another swipe at a pile of leaves I had built up. He had kept quiet until now, and I knew it was cold for his thin fur. His dark brown fur hadn't thickened yet, and most the time he was shaking with the cold breeze, not fear.

"You've been more patient than most cats your age," I answered slowly, even thoughtfully, "so you can try for your first fish now."

"Yay!" Cyclone starting spinning, dancing, twirling around in excitement as he let out wordless yowls of joy.

"You still have yet to catch it," I reminded him as his eyes sparkled. "But I'm sure you'll have no problem with that."

"Let's go!" I let him be excited, so I made no comment as he led me back to the frozen river.

He crouched down, his pelt quivering with excitement as a fish slowly swam close to the dark brown kit. He cautiously extended his paw over the dark water. But I think his training escaped his mind as he plunged a deft paw into the shining, rippling water. He missed, and though the fish was slow its senses hadn't left it completely as it disappeared into the shadows. His face fell while his whiskers drooped dramatically. He looked so crestfallen it could break even a cat without a heart. Me. And it did.

"Calm down, you've got all day to catch a fish," I soothed him as I gave his ear a reassuring lick. "Now, what did you do wrong?"

"I let my excitement get the better of me and I didn't stop to asses the situation and slow down." I nodded in approval, and gestured with my tail for him to try again. He dipped his head respectfully, and I felt pride rush through me. _I don't know why others think so little of him, he really is a great kit. Better than that loathing Patch, that's for sure. I would do anything to take a few patches of fur from his stupid pelt._

As a daring fish darted forward towards Cyclone, he quickly flashed a paw at the slick silver and green fish. But he missed again as it flitted back into the shadows to join the other cowardly fish. He gave a hiss of frustration and clenched his teeth as his tail lashed several times.

"It was skinny anyways," I murmured as I flicked my regretful gaze back towards the slinking shadows, retreating at my gaze. "Do you want to hunt some land dwellers instead?"

"No, I want to catch a fish," he muttered through gritted teeth, his words barely seeping through the gaps.

"Alright, I'll wait all day if I have to."

And it did take nearly all day. Imagine, the crisp, cold wind nipping at your every patch of fur, your paws nearly frozen permanently to the ground, your body shivering for hours on end. Not to mention the stiff, frigid muscles that were nearly locked in place. This was what I felt like until nearly sunset. No fish were to be found slipping around near the surface, and what did twitch ever so slightly Cyclone attacked instantly, and it took something like a leaf to make him leap into the water, spoiling any more chances of food.

Obviously Light would be upset, but what she doesn't know can't hurt her. When he did catch a fish, it was the tiniest fish in the whole forest I think. It was about the size of my dewclaw, and mine isn't that impressive of a size to begin with. But he was still proud as if it was a big as my paw, and I let him.

"Good job for catching a… minnow." A chorus of laughter rose after Patch's scathing comment. Cyclone had deposited his fish that looked like a large snowflake on the pile that was dwindling, and was casting anguish looks at me.

_He needs to learn to stick up for himself, I can't always be around to stand up for him. I have to let him deal with this on his own._

He slowly slunk over behind me, hiding his scrawny, trembling body behind my sleek silver fur streaked with jet black. But reluctantly I stepped to the left, revealing his tiny, trembling body that was pressed close to the browning moss layering the floor.

While he glared at me for abandoning him, I kept a neutral, passive, cold look on my face as Patch smirked at the dark brown kit.

"When someone talks to you, you answer." The apprentice jabbed Cyclone with a claw, but I remained calm as he cowered down lower into the moss.

"What if you don't deserve to be answered to?" Cyclone nearly whispered in a terrified voice despite his brave words.

"And this is coming from the weakest kit in the den?" he countered as the others laughed.

"I just want friends, I'm not asking for much," Cyclone told the cream tom in a defeated voice, his eyes dull with internal exhaustion. "You have it all; the leader's your mother, every she-cat in the apprentices' dens runs after you and takes the burrs and thorns out of your paws and pads, and you aren't the worst at hunting or fighting. But others aren't like you. Take one moment, look at others and stop thinking about your stupid self, and you'll realize you are one big bully. You know that she-cat you called fat? She's starving herself but she just can't be that skinny she-cat a tom is exactly looking for." I saw Patch's gaze briefly flicker to behind him where a dappled gray she-cat sat, her head lowered like her shoulders. I presume Cyclone is talking about her, but who knows? But it swept back to the dark brown pelted kit in a matter of seconds. Clearly he wasn't listening to Cyclone's speech, but other cats were giving one another considerable glances.

"And you know that tom you called weird? He's changing who he is for the sake of impressing you. And you know me. I'm that weak kit everybody avoids. But I'm a cat just like you all are, I'm just smaller. I'll prove you wrong one day, and _you'll _be avoiding _me _when that day comes."

"Oh I'm sorry, did you say something?" No laughter accompanied Patch's smart remark, and he looked taken aback. "You guys aren't seriously going to listen to the kit who's younger than you by moons?"

"Of course not!" many suddenly answered, almost too enthusiastically for my liking. "We were just saying how stupid he was to talk down to _us._"

"Agreed." Patch sneered, his face twisted into an ugly smirk. "Now, who's ready to go to sleep." In unison most of the young cats agreed, and he led his little group back to the nest.

"Thanks for exposing my insecurity," the dappled she-cat spat, her river-blue eyes blazing as her mouth curled into a snarl.

"I'm sorry, I thought he'd care if he realized hurting cats existed," Cyclone apologized softly as his tail hit the floor, his whiskers drooping dramatically once again. She uttered a hostile growl, and whipped away from the dark brown kit.

"Now they just hate me more!" he growled in frustration as he bared his teeth, his tail lashing furiously until it was merely a small blur.

"Don't worry about what they think," I murmured, not knowing what else to say. If I could grind them to dust for treating Cyclone like that, I would. But I can't; too bad.

"I can't just make my worries disappear on command," he muttered as his anger suddenly faded, and what replaced it was less scary; hopelessness. He lifted his chin to look up at me squarely in the eye, and told me in a stronger voice, "I'll come with you back to wherever you live."

"Okay," I answered calmly, though on the inside I was thrilled. He could maybe even grow up and share my nest with me instead of Hunter or Shadow. I liked that idea better. "We leave tomorrow morning before the sun comes up, so if you're woken up don't make a sound, okay?"

"Okay," he nodded in affirmation.

"You'll like it there," I murmured reassuringly as I led him back to our 'den'. Tonight was our last night here, and to my surprise I felt sadness. It wasn't too awful here, but I prefer my mouse-brained leader and a dark, damp cave where I rule the place. Much better than wherever this is.

"Night, Synndra," he whispered after he yawned. He curled up tightly, making him appear to be a fuzzy ball of fluff.

"Good night," I answered softly, closing my own eyes. A chilling breeze swept through the patched den, and I shivered as Cyclone trembled as if Stone appeared right in front of him. _I'll protect you, even in your dreams._

**Horrible ending, I know. But I had no idea how to finish so you'll just have to live with it. And so will I, regrettably. Anywho, next chapter she'll be going home, etc. Nothing too interesting, but I'm building it up to the major plot twist ;)**

**Have a great day, and I'll see you next time I post a chapter... gosh that sounds lame but eh. I don't care anymore. (Kind of sounds like something Synndra would say... o. O)**

**~Ashthief**


	11. Can I Outrun Pain?

**Hi! This chapter is also kind of short but I did it in an hour or two or three so eh why not. I won't be able to post very often, so sorry about that :/ But yeah, this chapter I like a lot because she may or may not be softening up... :)**

**Fluffball569- NOOOOO Don't leave me! Lol just kidding, I understand :) I probably won't be on too much either, and I'll see you next summer. Aww thank you, I feel so honored, you say how great either I or my book is like every post x: Whatever shall I do without my fluffball? xD I appreciate the reviews, and thanks for promising to review once school ends (why does that have to be so long from now...) But yeah, have a great school year and I'll miss you x: I look forward to the end of summer even more now, and maybe it'll be easier to follow the plotline after I've posted more? Idk, but see you later!**

**Lunarsparks- Ashy sounds so cute when I read it in my head XD Adorable nickname I got now lol Aww thanks, and I'm glad it's not just me who is insanely excited about it. I think a bunch of people will hate me afterwards... but... I have to. I just have to. In this story it's like oh Synndra is happy then it's like- Nope, wait a few chapters guys. I feel kind of mean to her but it makes it interesting, I hope? xD Yeah I love Cyclone and Synndra too but... uh... *no comment about Cyclone* **

**Right, thank you my two fantastic reviewers for reviewing, and I present the tenth chapter! Enjoy! (This story seems to be going so slow... anybody else feel like it's dragging out forever?)**

Chapter 10: Can I Outrun Pain?

Today was the day we went home. I wasn't sure if I was excited, scared, reluctant, or just uncaring. But I woke up when I felt a paw touch my shoulder. As always I instantly became alert, but I calmed down as I saw Shadow's dark blue eyes peering at me calmly.

"Time to go," he whispered in my ear softly before creeping around Adder, reaching Fang without disturbing anyone.

"Get up," I murmured to Cyclone after Dark's son prodded the gray tom with black patches on the shoulder.

"Mmmmmhmmmm," he muttered nonsense, groaning as he got to his paws. He blinked a few times, trying to adjust his vision to the darkness of dawn.

"Hush, we don't want to be followed," I hissed as I crept out of the den silently, all three toms either behind or beside me. Meaning Cyclone was beside me, the other two behind at a respectable distance.

"Split up and hunt," I ordered as I slipped away into the shadows, their secrets and coldness wrapping themselves around me. Even though I have a bright silver pelt, I can still use the darkness to my advantage. I quickly hunted down three mice, and found the three toms hunting together. Between all of them they caught one rabbit. One.

"How did you catch that many that fast?" Cyclone asked in awe, his eyes bulging out of his head as he saw the size of the mice. For it being middle of leaf-bare they sure were plump, I noticed quickly. I scarfed down two mice while the toms split up the rest among themselves.

We slipped out of the Darkness' territory and into more familiar territory in an hour or so. Cyclone didn't tire as easily, and I felt pride swell up. He's not that weak kit everybody believes he is anymore.

But that was when we heard a crack. All three grown cats whipped around in the blink of an eye, and my eyes focused in on a dark brown patch of fur barely visible behind a bush. Cyclone's right beside me, so who…?

Without warning I launched myself at the bush concealing whatever was making noise, and a familiar scent hit my nose as I tackled him to the ground. He yowled loudly, enough to where I heard a few birds flutter away.

"Why are you following us, Adder?" I hissed as I kept one paw on his throat. My claws weren't unsheathed, but this is the only way I know for sure I'm in control in a fight.

"So you are leaving," he mewed simply as I glared at him, dark green eyes locking with icy blue ones. _Adder er… kind of likes you._ Cobra's awkward, embarrassed voice echoed in my mind as I glowered at the dark brown tom pinned to the cold floor.

"This doesn't concern you," I answered coolly as I stepped away from him, my gaze resuming my normal cold, hardened look.

"If anybody leaves, especially my denmates-" I shuddered slightly as he called us denmates; maybe he really does care, "- then I'd like to know."

"I suppose it's Cobra's business too, then." I flicked an ear to the left, signaling that I know the black tom was still trying to keep himself concealed.

"Indeed," Adder answered, matching my cool tone. _I don't think Cobra has his facts straight, it seems Adder hates me as much as I want him to stay away._

"And you had to wait this long to make your presence known?" I took a moment to wait, and when the brown tom opened his mouth to retort I beat him to it. "And you didn't even mean to do that, I don't think you just want to tell us 'good-bye'. It doesn't seem we have good memories to relive anyways."

His gaze flickered to Cyclone for a split second, begging for something before looking away. I know I'm not imagining it, but what would Cyclone have he wants?

"So why did you follow us, then?" Shadow asked as he stood beside me, his shoulder nearly touching mine as he drew himself to his full height. _He has issues with thinking he isn't in control, exactly like his dad. He always has to seem calmer than I, more thoughtful, more in control. He too tries to tame me, but it seems I'm the only one who understands that I simply cannot be tamed._

"I wanted to come with you guys," Cobra answered for his littermate, and ignored the scorching glare given to him. "And I dragged him along with me because I couldn't have him telling everyone." Adder murmured something inaudible, but it was anything but happy. I could tell that much, at least.

"We always need more warriors," Fang murmured quietly.

"Dark wasn't afraid to take you in, after all. He should be okay with three more random cats." Shadow looked thoughtful while I scowled at him.

"He didn't _take me in,_ he held me prisoner when I didn't do what little petty Dark wanted me to. I don't consider that very welcoming behavior."

"If you could be just a little more understanding you wouldn't have been put there," Shadow pointed out as I bared my teeth. Only I can be smart like that. Me and only me.

"This is getting us nowhere, let's go," I hissed through clenched teeth as I strode away, my paws confident though I felt guarded.

"I didn't have to drag him with me, you know." Cobra's voice startled me after the few minutes of padding paws. "He came willingly."

"I don't think you have your facts straight, snake. He hates me, not likes me." I glared at him while my stomach fluttered uncontrollably, though I don't know why. It seemed to get excited, and I forced the light feeling down.

"He uses anger to cover his true feelings, exactly like you." He paused, giving me a hard glare before continuing. "Exactly how you do."

"No, I do it to protect myself." _I admitted it, I admitted it. I actually said it._

"You're actually hurting yourself more than helping," he pointed out as the cave came into sight, and I felt relief flow through me like a river through a cave. "You've been hurt before, and you're scared to get hurt again," he guessed as soft grass became squashed beneath our padded paws.

"No, no I haven't," I nearly shrieked as memories flooded through my mind. _It may have been forever ago, but I can't let that happen again._ "I'm fine, I've never been hurt and I plan to keep it that way."

"You're afraid of love, of friendship," he murmured softly as excruciating memories played over, over, and over again. _If only I could outrun the pain, leave it all behind so I can become happy like any other cat._ "And it's not just you losing your family that pained you, burdened you so much."

"No, no, no." I repeated, over, and over, and over. _No… it took me long enough to get over him. No, I will not fall for another cat again. I can't survive that again, I can't be hurt that bad again. Never again, it won't get to me this time. This time I'll outrun my feelings, keep them so deeply buried they'll never hurt me again._

"Don't be afraid," he muttered as we reached the cave entrance. I squeezed my eyes shut, took a deep breath, and strode into the cave with confidence. I gave one of the guards, Cave, a brisk nod, and he let me pass.

"I see you're back." _Despite how much I hate Dark, I missed annoying him._

"Well you do have eyes," I snapped as the anger from only moments ago surged through me. This wasn't like normal anger; I couldn't control it, it wasn't on my side this time. It was working against me.

"Good to see you, Shadow." He dipped his head formally while Shadow stiffened. He just nodded briskly, glancing everywhere but at his father.

"And Fang." The gray tom with black patches nodded to Dark respectfully, glancing at me then at the three new cats as if to tell me to explain.

"We brought three of their cats." I announced as Dark's questioning gaze flickered to the three cats.

"We can make a bargain with the Darkness, eh?" A smirk played his face. I glared and explained it in more depth.

"They wish to join," I snarled, my claws sliding out as my furious blue eyes glowered at his disgusting face. "You let _me _in, more or less. Why not them?"

"No, I won't permit it."

"We'll fight over them. If I win, they stay. If you win, they leave forever or become prisoners," I challenged as he shook his head.

"You'll win," he rasped as he kept shaking his head. "I'm no fool."

"Out of the other twenty times, yes, for once you were not stupid. Interesting, how exactly did you change to an intellectual looking cat?" he didn't growl at me, and I felt satisfied as I realized I dominate him from my standpoint.

"They can stay," he growled, and waved his tail for us to go. "But you have to share your nest with them. They can all be special warriors, if they're anything like the Darkness I remember." I led them away near the end of his instructions, and strutted through the caves.

"There's so many cats!" Cyclone exclaimed as we entered the large warriors' cave.

"Believe it or not, you had twenty more cats than us. The large caves just make it look larger."

"I see you're back home," a less-than-happy voice greeted me as I padded quietly into the small cave.

"Good to see you too, Streak," I answered coolly as I flicked an ear towards my nest. "That large nest is mine, if you need more moss Shadow can show you where to get some more."

"How come you're making me babysit them?" he demanded as he scowled at the dark, damp flooring of the cave.

"Because I said so. Good-bye, now." Without any more objections he left, the three others trailing behind him though he was sullen.

"You have yet to tell me what your problem is," I addressed the white tom after the others left. The cave was conveniently empty as his fur fluffed up defensively. "And some time ago you said someone liked me, but you never gave me a straight answer on that either."

"Why should I tell you what my problem is?" he demanded in a defensive voice. "You didn't care a moon ago."

"Because I'm the only one who's going to ask, so you might as well just tell me." I felt the undeniable tug again to apologize, but as I opened my mouth he turned away from me.

"I'm tired of being hurt by you, and from now on don't talk to me." I opened my mouth to try and apologize, but he was gone. An explosion of regret shot through me and I tensed up until I was as rigid as a stone. Agony shot through every single nerve in my body, and I gritted my teeth together as it changed into rage.

_I tried to apologize, the words were right on the tip of my tongue. I swear I just want friends, I can't deny it any longer. I've tried and tried, I just can't. I've tried so hard to fight it, but I just can't anymore. I'm too tired from trying to protect myself, too battered from my internal fight. I just can't go on anymore. I just can't. I can't._

I dragged myself to my nest and curled up, my eyes closed with internal exhaustion. _Always this internal conflict. Always. But I can't just change. It can't just go away like that._

I allowed a small, miniscule sniffled escape, one sob, then I fell silent. _I surrender, I surrender. I can't go on like this anymore._

^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^

_No… not this dream again. I can't relive that again, I can't._ But apparently my mind had other plans.

I saw myself laughing with a tom, his name fresh in my mind though it's been at least half a year since I've seen him. His sleek, shiny blue pelt made me fall in love all over again. He leaned in and whispered into my ear, and I swatted back at him playfully.

We talked from dawn to dusk, never leaving the others' side. The memory hurts too much, I know how this seemingly perfect love story ends.

And suddenly I was in the memory I had buried so deep; deeper than all the others, even. He was with another she-cat, laughing cruelly as I stared at him in horror. The she-cat had triumph written on her elegant white face as she too smirked at me.

He had betrayed me, for reasons beyond my understanding. I wasn't all cold heartened back then, that happened later. _Bird, how could you betray me like that?_ My best friend. I thought she was my best friend, but all along she was using me to get to Jay. _How could you?_ I asked her in my head later, moons and moons later. Her betrayal hurts less and less, but it's never removed completely. I carry that scar around with me, and as I fled into the night I vowed I'd never fall in love with another.

I then became the horrible cat I am today, and I thought I'd never want to be around anyone else ever again for fear of being hurt. Now I do, but I'm scared to. I'm surrounded by toms I think I'd get along with, and that's what I'm scared of. Terrified of, even.

Other cats are afraid of spiders, getting hurt, loud noises. I'm afraid of love, and it's gotten to the point I can't deal with it anymore. All that built up anger, resentment, and hurt was now resurfacing, now it was all exploding. I just can't handle it anymore.

More memories of Jay entered my every dream after I fell asleep. I was in one where I was hunting a mouse, and then suddenly the blue tom came out of nowhere and tackled me. I swatted back at him playfully, but then he turned into Snow. I shrieked and flew backwards as her eyes danced with sly triumph.

"Jay never loved you, he just pretended so you wouldn't think I was with him. You would never be good enough for him." I squeezed my eyes shut and drowned out the words with bad thoughts of her. Bad thoughts I dare not explain. She darted towards me to deliver a killing blow, but I dodged and shrieked as I raced into a tree.

I woke up with a start, my eyes wide open as my heart pounded. It was all so real… yet in the back of my mind I knew it was a dream. I shivered as a chilling breeze swept through the cave, and I shuddered as more memories flew through my mind.

"Why can't I just be free?" I whispered softly to myself as I hung my head in defeat.

"You can't sleep either?" I jerked my head awake just as Hunter's voice whispered to me.

"No, bad memories," I murmured back. I suddenly felt defensive all over again, and muttered, "I can deal with it though."

"Sure you can," he answered sarcastically though I could make out the teasing glint in his dark blue eyes. "Guess what happened while you were away?"

"You learned to fly," I muttered, joining in on his silly little game. _That would actually be pretty cool._

"Even better," he answered triumphantly, a happy expression on his face.

"I give up, what happened?"

"Well I made friends with a she-cat and I like her and I think she likes me." He seemed so excited it was nearly amusing.

"What's her name?" I murmured as I started nodding off to sleep again.

"Her name's Snowlily," he told me proudly, his voice excited like a kit getting their ceremony to where they can leave camp. "She's got white fur with light brown patches on her fur." I suddenly felt myself go tense. No, oh no. It can't be… there's only one cat I've ever seen with those markings.

"D-does she have light green eyes?" I asked as I felt like my world slowed down, my head spinning faster and faster. _She can't be here! She can't! It'll be more worst nightmare! Literally!_

"Yeah, a pretty shade too. Do you know her?"

"Oh you have no idea," I muttered to myself, ignoring the fact he'll now inquire everything I say about her.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I… knew her when I was… a housecat," I murmured as my head hung in shame. It's the worst thing if you admit you were once a Twoleg pet. An insult to these cats, almost.

"She hasn't told me that part." He looked thoughtful, his head tipped to one side. _I am so dead if she finds out I'm here. Wait… she probably won't recognize me. I was fat and lazy then, I'm tough and strong now. She won't know she turned me into this cold-hearted cat, and she won't care if I tell her._

"Was she a friend?"

"Once," I answered sourly, venom thrown into that one syllable. "But then she hurt me on purpose, and I ran away. She's the reason I push others away now."

"So you're blaming one cat for ruining your life? How mature, Synndra." His anger surprised me, and I glanced at him in confusion.

"She's going to hurt you, Hunter," I told him desperately, suddenly worrying for his own heart. He still has one, and I want it to stay that way.

"You're just jealous," he reasoned with himself, and I felt indignant. _Oh no, I can't lose another friend. But I have to tell him…._

"I was with another tom, Jay. She made me think she was my best friend, but all she ended up doing was going behind my back and being his mate instead." I was desperate for him to understand, I didn't stop to think about my reputation as I spilled out what she was capable of. "She'll hurt you like she hurt me, Hunter."

"You leave for a moon, come back, and when I tell you I like a she-cat you immediately warn me off. You haven't even met her yet!" His voice raised slightly, but he quieted down quickly. "I'm sorry Synndra, but I can't just cut it off because you think I should."

"I don't want to-"

"To lose in an argument?" he finished for me, though he was incorrect.

"No! I don't want to lose another friend!" I burst out, my desperateness making me hate myself but I blurted it out all the same. He looked shocked, his mouth just hung open in astonishment.

"I'm sorry, but did you just say you need a friend?" He seemed to be so genuinely shocked it irritated me, but I squashed that down too.

"Yes," I murmured, my eyes automatically flying to my paws instead of looking at Hunter.

"Who are you and what did they do with the Synndra I knew?"

"You mean you don't like a nicer Synndra, great. I'm mean, cats hate me. I'm nice, cats still hate me." I growled in frustration, tearing up the moss with my claws.

"I didn't say I don't like you being nice," he quickly corrected. "But I haven't ever heard you be that open to anyone in a while."

"Don't get used to it," I muttered, looking away at the wall. _Well now one of my best friends likes the cat who made me this… monster now. Perfect._

**Sorry this chapter is somewhat short too, but I'm in school now and taking three advanced courses, so I won't have any time left except on weekends :/ So yeah, sorry updates will be short and not many but now you know why. **

**Also, I'm quite proud of myself for writing this chapter in like two, three hours. Yay me. Also, I hope you guys appreciate the double-update :) So now she's going to get softer I think, because I hate her frozen heart**

**Question of the****day****('cause I feel like doing one)- What do you think the major plot twist will be? Like, do you think it'd have something to do with Synndra taking a mate or something like that... you know. I'm just curious what some people are thinking what might possibly happen, so tell me!**

**K, please answer I am so curious xD No particular reason, but I am. Have a nice day, and I'll see you later.**

**~Ashthief**


	12. Author's Note

**Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated in forever x. x This time it's not a writer's block, actually, this time I'm grounded due to my laziness in school, so I just felt bad and I just wanted to let you guys know what's going on. By next weekend I should hopefully have a new chapter, so yeah this is just letting you guys know what's going on. See you later, and sorry for the delay :(**

**~Ashthief**


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